Week 7 One-Liners

Each week, Eddie Utah (“EU”) tries to predict the Vegas lines for each NFL game upcoming that week. It’s an honor system—I make my predictions before looking at the official lines. One of my favorite columnists, Bill Simmons (“BS”), does the same thing (and yes, in fact, I borrowed the idea from him). Bill even goes so far as to make a podcast about the lines with his friend Cousin Sal ("CS," who recently won an Emmy for his part in helping Sarah Silverman write that special song for ex-boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel). Bill and Sal have a contest on the podcast each week to see whose line predictions come closer to the actual Vegas line for each game. In week 2 of the 2008 NFL season, I decided to give it a try and find out if I could do any better than Bill and Cousin Sal. So far, the answer is a definitive no. Here are the season standings after week 6: CS 37, BS 34, EU 18. On to week 7…

San Diego at Buffalo
Trent Edwards’ head might still hurt after trying to compete with Philip Rivers.
CS: BUF -2, BS: sd -3, EU: BUF -3, Actual: sd -1
Score: CS 0, BS 1, EU 0

New Orleans at Carolina
If the Carolina, as opposed to the Dillon, Panthers show up, this could be a good game.
CS: CAR -5, BS: CAR -4, EU: CAR -3, Actual: CAR -3.5
Score: CS 0, BS 2, EU 1

Minnesota at Chicago
Sorry Vikings, Kyle Orton, unlike Dan Orlovsky, has actually figured out the dimensions of the end zone.
CS: CHI -3, BS: CHI -4, EU: CHI -6, Actual: CHI -3
Score: CS 1, BS 2, EU 1

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
Do the Bengals rise up and play tough against another good team?
CS: pit -7, BS: pit -8, EU: pit -7, Actual: pit -9.5
Score: CS 1, BS 3, EU 1

Tennessee at Kansas City
Instead of pushing women, Larry Johnson should try pushing the pile a little harder.
CS: ten -7.5, BS: ten -12.5, EU: ten -9, Actual: ten - 7
Score: CS 2, BS 3, EU 1

Baltimore at Miami
After their three-point showing in week 6, the Ravens should be giving the Wildcat a try.
CS: MIA -1, BS: MIA -1.5, EU: MIA -2, Actual: MIA -3
Score: CS 2, BS 3, EU 2

San Francisco at New York Giants
Angry Giants team versus a 49er team crossing three time zones equals a Giants rout. (But beware of the double-digit favorite.)
CS: NYG -9, BS: NYG -13.5, EU: NYG -11, Actual: NYG -10.5
Score: CS 2, BS 3, EU 3

Dallas at St. Louis
The Cowboys have lost a quarterback and a cornerback, and added a wide-receiver. I think that’s enough for a close win in St. Louis.
CS: dal -6.5, BS: dal -6.5, EU: dal -6, Actual: dal -7
Score: CS 3, BS 4, EU 3

Detroit at Houston
The Texans won’t need any last second heroics this week.
CS: HOU -4.5, BS: HOU -6.5, EU: HOU -4.5, Actual: HOU -9
Score: CS 3, BS 5, EU 3

Indianapolis at Green Bay
Let’s see that again, Indy.
CS: GB -2, BS: ind -1, EU: Pick ‘em, Actual: ind -1
Score: CS 3, BS 6, EU 3

New York Jets at Oakland
Oakland’s a mess. The Jets could fly in from Japan and walk all over Cable and crew.
CS: nyj -5, BS: nyj -6, EU: njy -6, Actual: nyj -3
Score: CS 4, BS 6, EU 3

Cleveland at Washinton
Neither of these teams is going to repeat last week’s performance, are they?
CS: WAS -7.5, BS: WAS -8, EU: WAS -3.5, Actual: WAS -7
Score: CS 5, BS 6, EU 3

Seattle at Tampa Bay
If you watched the Seahawks game on Sunday you know the real reason John Madden is skipping this one. Looking forward to some serious straight talk from Cris Collinsworth though.
CS: TB -16.5, BS: TB -8, EU: TB -10.5, Actual: TB -10.5
Score: CS 5, BS 6, EU 4

Denver at New England
The Patriot offense should look a little more competent against the Denver D.
CS: NE -?, BS: NE -3, EU: NE -3.5, Actual: NE -3
Score: CS 5, BS 7, EU 4

Season Standings: CS 42, BS 41, EU 22

Eddie in the Money Superpicks (home team in CAPS): BUF +1 over sd, CHI -3 over min, ten -7 over KC, and nyj -3 over OAK (13-4-1 on the season)