Eddie Utah

Hass is still young...

2009-12-23T10:06:00.000-08:00

I know he's had health issues, but I think it would be silly to get rid of him. Look at Kurt Warner. He's almost 40, has had a lot of injury issues, but lately has had two or three really great seasons at an advanced age. It'd be silly to compare Hass to Favre, since Favre is such a genetic mutation when it comes to never missing a start, but even factoring in the injury risk, I think Hass is way to valuable to the team. He at least gives me hope that the team could win the game (at kickoff, at least). What about Wallace? You know when Hass went down against the 49ers at the end of the first half you were thinking exactly the same thing that I was, even though the 'hawks were only down 3 (if I remember right): They're done. Yeah, he could go .500 for a few games when the Seahawks were good. But he's never going to lead the team to win games that they have no business winning.

As for the defense, the best idea I've heard is to trade Lofa. LB just isn't a high value position. Our payroll is way too high there. Hawthorne has proven a capable (and much cheaper) replacement and now may be the best time to get maximum value from Lofa in a trade.

Eddie Utah's Merry Christmas Picks

2008-12-20T20:48:00.001-08:00

I just got done breaking down tomorrow's games and am amazed at how many potentially lucrative picks are available. You can practically parlay the entire NFC East. A three-way tie means they all have to win. The Jets may be in Seattle, but the Seahawks just put their fifth starting offensive lineman on IR. Miami is a mere 3.5 point favorite in Kansas City and New England is home against a Cardinals team that hasn't won on the East Coast this year and is essentially locked into their playoff spot.

I also like Denver to clinch the AFC West over Buffalo and Tampa Bay to stay alive at home versus San Diego.

Here's the whole list:

CLEVELAND -3 over Cincinnati
ST. LOUIS +5 OVER San Francisco
TENNESSEE +2.5 over Pittsburgh
OAKLAND +7 over Houston
MINNESOTA -3 over Atlanta
WASHINGTON +5 over Philadelphia
Carolina +3.5 over GIANTS
CHICAGO -4 over Green Bay

Eddie in the Money Superpicks

New Orleans -7 over DETROIT
Miami -3.5 over Kansas City
NEW ENGLAND -8 over Arizona
Jets -3.5 over SEATTLE
TAMPA BAY -3.5 over San Diego
DENVER -6.5 over Buffalo

Week 14 NFL Picks

2008-12-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

Bengals +13.5 over COLTS
BEARS -6.5 over Jaguars
PACKERS -7 over Texans
Browns +13.5 over TITANS
Vikings -10.5 over LIONS
Redskins +6 over RAVENS
GIANTS -7 over Eagles
Falcons +3 over SAINTS
Jets -4 over 49ERS
BILLS -1.5 over Dolphins
BRONCOS -9 over Chiefs
Rams +14 over CARDINALS
Cowboys +4 over STEELERS
Patriots -7 over SEAHAWKS
PANTHERS -3 over Buccaneers

Week 13: 7-9
Week 14: 1-0
Season: 90-98-4

Eddie in the Money Superpicks
Patriots -7 over SEAHAWKS
GIANTS -7 over Eagles
Jets -4 over 49ERS

Week 13: 3-1
Season: 28-15-2

Tonight's NFL Pick

2008-12-04T16:59:00.000-08:00

Chargers -9 over Raiders

I gotta bolt and get back to my tax work. But first, let me offer a quick congrats to Chad and the Cowboys for piling on the poor Seahawks last week. Even Chad, the Seahawks' super good-luck charm, couldn't make a difference. Seattle has serious issues.

I'll be writing up a more detailed description of the mighty Cowboys and their "impressive" win in a few days, perhaps on Sunday.

Week 13 NFL Picks

2008-11-26T16:32:00.000-08:00

Tennessee -11 over DETROIT
Seattle +12.5 over DALLAS
Arizona +3 over PHILADELPHIA
Indianapolis -5 over CLEVELAND
Baltimore -7 over CINCINNATI
Miami -9 over ST. LOUIS
BUFFALO -7 over San Francisco
Carolina -3 over GREEN BAY
TAMPA BAY -3.5 over New Orleans
NY Giants -3.5 over WASHINGTON
Atlanta +4.5 over SAN DIEGO
NEW ENGLAND -1 over Pittsburgh
NY JETS -7.5 over Denver
OAKLAND -3 over Kansas City
MINNESOTA -3.5 over Chicago
HOUSTON -3 over Jacksonville

Week 12 (overall): 8-7-1 (82-89-4)

Eddie in the Money Superpicks

Tennessee -11 over DETROIT
Seattle +12.5 over DALLAS
Baltimore -7 over CINCINNATI
NY Giants -3.5 over WASHINGTON

Week 12 (overall): 2-1 (25-14-2)

The Oily-Salmon Series Continues

2008-11-25T21:20:00.001-08:00

Since my brother Chad and I both have irrational love affairs with our favorite football teams (the Dallas Cowboys and the Seattle Seahawks, respectively), a few years back, we decided to start a tradition of meeting up any time our teams played. I’ve dubbed it the Oily Salmon Series (in reference to prominent industries in Dallas and Seattle). With Game Six quickly approaching, I thought it appropriate to memorialize each game of the series.

Read about Game One here.

Game Two—Good Timing and Bad Defense

The Seahawks played the Cowboys in the regular season of 2002 on October 27. Before making our travel arrangements to Dallas, Chad did a little arithmetic and estimated that we just might get lucky and see Emmitt Smith break Walter Payton’s all-time rushing record of 16,726 yards against the Seahawks that day. The season started with Smith needing 542 yards to break the record. Before the week 8 game against the Seahawks, he was only 93 yards away.

Though Emmitt hadn’t rushed for over a hundred yards all season, Jerry Jones, in typical arrogant fashion, planned a huge celebration and banner unveiling for Smith and scheduled it for the Seahawks game. As it turns out, however, Jones’s arrogance was well founded, as the Seahawks ranked dead last in rushing defense in the NFL in 2002.

If you needed a hundred-yard rusher in 2002, you looked no further than Seattle’s opponent. This week, your guy was Emmitt Smith. He broke the record with 9:10 left in the fourth quarter with an 11-yard run and capped off that drive with a one-yard touchdown run to tie the game 14-14 with 5:35 remaining. It was sort of nice for me to witness the historical moment, but the real joy was watching Chad and his two boys raise their arms in celebration as Emmitt broke the record and the crowd erupted.

Unfortunately for Chad and the Cowboys, game number two of the Oily Salmon Series started an uncomfortable tradition for Cowboys fans. After the record-breaking run and the one-yard touchdown by Emmitt Smith, Matt Hasselbeck, who had entered the game for an injured Trent Dilfer, led the Seahawks down the field for a game-winning field goal with 25 seconds left in the game. (Hasselbeck never yielded the starting quarterback job to Dilfer again and went on to play in three Pro Bowls.)

Chad and I had gone to two games and experienced two Seahawk wins. While we didn’t immediately realize it, it had officially become a tradition. We rationalized that the first game was an irrelevant blowout and this game was a win-win, since my brother was able to witness the record-breaker and I was able to witness a Seahawk victory. Unfortunately for him, Chad had somehow become a good luck charm for my Seahawks, as the next three games in the series would clearly indicate.

Game Three—No Luck in Attendance

We DID NOT attend this 2004 Week 13 game. Seattle scored three touchdowns in the fourth quarter to go up by 10 points with 2:46 left in the game. Had my brother been there, surely this would have been the end of the story.

Instead, Vinny Testaverde hit Keyshawn Johnson in the end zone on an apparent touchdown. I remember being furious at the call, because replays seemed to clearly show that Keyshawn only had one foot down before running out of the back of the end zone. I can’t remember if the booth failed to review it (less than two minutes were remaining, so no coach’s challenge was possible) or if they reviewed it and failed to overturn it.

Either way, Seattle was still up three points with 1:45 remaining in the game. All they had to do was recover an onside kick and run out the clock. And, like I said, had we been there, surely they would have done this or found some other way to win the game.

But no—the onside kick bounced off Jerheme Urban’s hands and Dallas recovered. Shortly thereafter, Julius Jones (then a Cowboy, now a Seahawk) finished off a 198-yard day with a 17-yard touchdown run with 32 seconds remaining and Dallas won the game 43-39.

Fantasy notes: Matt Hasselbeck had 414 yards passing with three touchdowns. Jerry Rice led the Seahawks in receiving with eight catches for 145 yards and a touchdown. Julius Jones had three touchdowns to go with his 198 yards. Keyshawn Johnson and Darrell Jackson both had over 100 yards receiving and a touchdown each.

Game Four—Seahawks Come Through in the Clutch?!!

In Week Seven of the 2005 season, Chad and I joined the Cowboys in Seattle for another Seahawk beat-down. Yeah, ok, it was nothing close to a beat-down, but with their good luck charm Chad in attendance, surely the Seahawks would find a way to win, right? Not likely.

This game was actually quite miserable to watch. Interestingly, it was the first rainy game hosted by the Seahawks at Qwest Field. (I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned that fact beforehand!) While the rain didn’t bother us in our covered seats, the Seahawks pathetic play certainly did. Well…me, anyway.

Matt Hasselbeck killed a first-quarter drive with an interception at the Dallas 10-yard-line and he killed a fourth-quarter drive with an interception at the Seahawks 16-yard-line. The latter led to a Dallas field goal. Drive after drive ended with a Seahawks punt, a total of nine for the game.

When the Seahawks got the ball back with 2:06 left in the game, I knew it was their last chance. They were down 10-3 and had hardly moved the ball all day. Chad was starting to sense a Cowboys victory. He elbowed me and smiled as he nodded in anticipation. As Hasselbeck walked up to the line of scrimmage for the first play of that last-chance drive, he looked up at us, pointed and winked—as if remembering that his good luck charm was here.

Ok, that didn’t happen, but Hasselbeck did lead the Seahawks down the field for only the second time all day. Jerheme Urban, Jeremy Stevens and D.J. Hackett all came up with clutch catches on a drive that ended with a game-tying one-yard touchdown pass to Ryan Hannam.

At this point, I lacked any optimism whatsoever. It took me a while to remember why. This was in 2005, before the Seahawks had gone to the Super Bowl. In fact, at that time, they held the record for longest streak without a playoff win of 21 years. My attitude matched the team’s sorry history. “They’ll just lose in overtime,” I thought. Then when Dallas returned the kickoff 39 yards to their own 41-yard-line with 33 seconds still remaining on the clock, I thought, “No. They’re gonna lose right now.”

Imagine my shock and surprise four plays later when Jordan Babineaux (“Big Play Babs”) intercepted a Bledsoe pass and returned it to the Dallas 32-yard-line with 5 ticks still left on the clock. Josh Brown then ran out and kicked his second 50+ yard field goal of the day to win the game. I couldn’t believe it. I was almost too shocked to celebrate. I expected the Seahawks to blow it. Instead they came through in the clutch. Such an unfamiliar yet wonderful feeling.

Game Five—Slick Balls

The Cowboys traveled to Seattle for a first-round playoff game in January of 2007. I was still depressed about the travesty that was Super Bowl XL. I don’t remember much about most of the 2007 playoff game, but I certainly remember the last couple of minutes.

Seattle had taken a 21-20 lead with 4:24 left in the game. The Cowboys drove down the field and eventually faced third-and-7 from the Seattle eight-yard-line. Tony Romo passed to Jason Witten for an apparent first down at the Seattle one-yard-line with 1:53 remaining in the game.

At this point I was resigned to a Seahawk loss. A first down would have allowed the Cowboys to run the clock down to a few seconds and then kick a game-winning field goal. Oh, but wait—the booth decided to review the spot. The first down was overruled! The Seahawks were still alive.

They called their last timeout as Dallas lined up for the field goal with 1:19 left in the game. That’s plenty of time for Hasselbeck to get the Seahawks in field goal range, right?

I could feel the excitement growing in my brother’s mind. For the first time in four games, he would get to see his Cowboys win. I felt bad for him and actually anticipated a bittersweet feeling assuming that a Cowboys victory was at hand.

From our vantage point in the upper deck, we couldn’t see clearly what happened on the ill-fated field goal attempt. I heard the roar of the crowd and saw Romo running.

“What’s it, a fake?” I wondered aloud.

As I saw him loping towards the end zone, it occurred to me that he didn’t even need to score a touchdown—he could get a first down at the one-yard-line, and the Cowboys could run the clock down and try the kick again. As Jordan Babineaux (who else?) dragged Romo down from behind, my brother already feared the worst and sat down with his head in his hands.

When the ball was spotted and it was ruled that Romo hadn’t made the first down and the Cowboys had turned the ball over to the Seahawks, I just stood there stunned. I couldn’t believe it. Chad, on the other hand, looked as if someone had just sucker-punched him in the stomach. I definitely don’t remember ever feeling worse after a Seahawks victory. (Check out the game highlights here.)

Especially sad (or perhaps ironic, or perhaps just funny) was my offer to Chad before our trip to Seattle. Given the outcome of the last three Cowboys-Seahawks games we had watched, I offered to cancel our trip. It was obvious that Chad was a major good-luck charm for the Seahawks, so I, being the good-sport that I am, offered to cancel the trip and help create a more level playing field for our teams. He declined.

Personnel note: Seattle cornerback Pete Hunter, signed off the street days before the game, played an important role in knocking down several Romo passes.

Game Six—A Thanksgiving Tradition

I just got off the phone with my brother and made him the same traditional offer to cancel our trip. I thought it especially important this year, since the Cowboys are still in the playoff race while the Seahawks are not. As I read somewhere recently, when you’ve stopped yelling at the television, you know the season’s over for your team. I stopped yelling several weeks ago. One more Seahawk loss isn’t going to bother me all that much.

Unfortunately for the Cowboys, Chad has once again declined my offer. We leave for Dallas tomorrow. We’ll have dinner at Mia’s, where Jerry Jones offered the head-coaching job to Jimmy Johnson. We’ll tour Texas Stadium and check out the new stadium. We’ll stop by the Cowboy Sports Café Bar and Grill and see if we can spot any groupies. And on Thursday we will give thanks for family and football and once again watch the Cowboys lose. My apologies, but after all—it’s tradition.

Week 12 NFL Picks

2008-11-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

BROWNS -3 over Texans

Bills -3 over CHIEFS

TITANS -5.5 over Jets

Patriots (pick ‘em) over DOLPHINS

49ers +10 over COWBOYS

Buccaneers -7.5 over LIONS

RAVENS -1.5 over Eagles

Bears -7.5 over RAMS

JAGUARS -2.5 over Vikings

Panthers +1 over FALCONS

BRONCOS -9 over Raiders

Redskins -3 over SEAHAWKS

Giants -3 over CARDINALS

Colts +2.5 over CHARGERS

Packers +2.5 over SAINTS

Week 12 (overall): 1-0 (75-82-3)

Eddie in the Money Superpicks

RAVENS -1.5 over Eagles

BRONCOS -9 over Raiders

Week 12 (overall): 1-0 (24-13-2)

Special Thursday Night Eddie in the Money Superpick

2008-11-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

I've been off in Orlando pretending to be a tax professional this week....more to come on Friday.

Here's tonight's pick: STEELERS -11 over Bengals.

Even though double-digit favorites are 2-12 ATS on the season, the Bengals are too bad and too beat up, especially after a long, arduous game on Sunday. In fact, this is an Eddie in the Money Superpick this week.

Week 11 (Overall): 9-7 (74-82-3)
Superpicks (Overall): 1-2 (23-13-2)

Oily Salmon Series Game 1—A Lesson in Priorities

2008-11-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

Since my brother and I both have irrational love affairs with our favorite football teams (the Dallas Cowboys and the Seattle Seahawks, respectively), a few years back, we decided to start a tradition of meeting up any time our teams played. I’ve dubbed it the Oily Salmon Series. With Game Six quickly approaching, I thought it appropriate to memorialize each game of the series.

The inaugural game in our series was scheduled for Sunday 16 December 2001. There was one minor problem: I was in my first semester of law school and had my Civil Procedure mid-year exam scheduled for the very next day. Like many first-year law students, I was scared to death that I was about to fail out of school. Until our mid-year exams, we had very little indication of how we might be doing. There were no quizzes, no mid-terms, nothing. We did at least have the mid-year exams—unlike some schools that use only one final exam in the spring to determine your entire grade. Nevertheless, after a semester of listening to some very intelligent classmates (in at least my opinion) impress my professors and other classmates, I was worried.

I later discovered that, throughout my academic career, I had always been a late-term learner, never feeling completely comfortable with the material until I walked into the exam (if then). So, obviously, the best way to prepare for my Civil Procedure exam was to skip town for the weekend and go to a Seahawks game. Who needs to study when you got football, right? Let’s just say I had my priorities in line. Or did I?

The terminally mediocre Seahawks came into the game with a 6-6 record, while the struggling Cowboys, with Quincy Carter playing quarterback, were limping along at 4-8. This game was very devoid of drama compared to our four subsequent Cowboys-Seahawks games. Seattle won 29-3. Ricky Watters ran 28 times for 104 yards and a touchdown; Shaun Alexander had seven carries for 27 yards and a touchdown; the defense had a safety and an INTD; and Rian Lindell added two field goals.

The big highlight of the game itself was seeing the excitement in the eyes of my brother, who was attending his first Cowboys game in person. It was like watching a little kid on Christmas. I knew and recognized the feeling because I had experienced the same excitement the season before when I watched the Seahawks for the first time in person. I sat in the pouring rain and watched Doug Flutie and the Bills run up and down Husky Field and trounce my Seahawks 42-23. There were no early presents for Seattle on that Christmas Eve Eve game. Curiously, in spite of the two blow-outs of our respective teams in 2000 and 2001, I’m pretty sure both of us still walked away happy, having witnessed our teams firsthand and the spectacle that is the National Football League.

However, the drama behind the first of the Oily Salmon Series was not yet complete. There was still that pesky little Civ.Pro. exam to deal with. Even making it back to San Jose proved adventurous. A certain Seahawk was in the middle of a four-game suspension for performance enhancing drugs and was thus unable to play against the Cowboys that day. But that didn’t stop me from meeting him.

As I was waiting to board my plane, I looked over at the line forming and seemed to see a familiar face. Only after the gate person informed him that he was attempting to board the wrong plane (he had partaken of a few too many adult beverages), did I realize that Shawn Springs was trying to follow me back to San Jose. He even wanted to see whose jersey I had wadded up in carry-on. As luck would have it, a fellow graduate of H-Town High School also happened to be on that plane and she graciously documented the meeting between Mr. Eddie Utah and Mr. Shawn Springs.

As for the exam, I won’t bore you with the details. I weighed football in one hand and my legal career in the other. I chose football. I studied on the plane and hoped for the best…and apparently I was sufficiently prepared. As TMQ might say, the football gods must have smiled upon me for making the wise decision in appropriately prioritizing my life because when all was said and done, I received the “Witkin” Award for Civil Procedure, indicating that my grade was highest in the 80-person class.

This article can also be seen here.

Week 11 Picks

2008-11-15T22:20:00.001-08:00

FALCONS -6.5 over Broncos
Raiders +10 over DOLPHINS (reminder, double-digit dawgs are 12-2 on the season)
GIANTS -7 over Ravens
COLTS -8 over Texans
Titans -3 over JAGUARS
Bears +3.5 over PACKERS
Eagles -9 over BENGALS
Saints -5.5 over CHIEFS
Lions +14 over PANTHERS (see reminder above)
BUCS -4 over Vikings
49ERS -6.5 over Rams
Cardinals -3 over SEAHAWKS
STEELERS -5 over Chargers
Cowboys -1.5 over REDSKINS (without Portis, see comment on 5.3 to 1.8 yards per carry discrepancy here)
Browns +5 over BILLS

Week 10: 9-4
Week 11: 0-1
Overall: 65-75-3

Eddie in the Money Superpicks
COLTS -8 over Texans
49ERS -6.5 over Rams
FALCONS -6.5 over Broncos

Week 10: 3-0
Overall: 22-11-2

Chaz Cinco Has Lost a Step

2008-11-14T01:26:00.001-08:00

T.J. Houshmandzadeh’s little wide-receiver sidekick was on the halftime show of tonight’s Jets-Patriots game. And the only reason, as far as I can tell, is some sort of buddy-buddy relationship with Deion Sanders. In fact, Deion’s first question had to do with why Chaz Cinco’s name (whether it be Johnson or Ocho Cinco) doesn’t show up on any rankings of this year’s top wide-receivers. Chaz Cinco’s response:

“Hey, well, you know, I’m getting old, man. I’m 30-years-old. I’m losing my step. Maybe I lost a step or two. And you know, I’m on the downhill of my career so there’s nothing I can really do about that. But, you know, hey—I might be contemplating retirement after this year.”

The NFL Network guys all laughed, but the funny thing wasn’t what Mr. Chaz said. The funny thing was that I’m not sure he was joking. His stats speak for themselves. Was the NFL Network really that desperate? Seriously—why was he on the show? Why not interview someone who does show up on the top wide-receivers lists?

Chaz continued with an excuses that was, without question, meant in all seriousness: “You gotta remember one thing—no matter what my name is, I’m only as good as my opportunities. And it will always be like that.”

Chad, might I refer you to some wise words from George Bernard Shaw?

“Some blame what they are on their circumstances. I do not believe in circumstances. Those that get on in this world are the ones who go out and look for the circumstances they want; and if they can’t find them, they make them.”

Think about it. Stop bitching and start producing.

Can’t Buy a Hug? Find a Lineman’s Butt to Slap

2008-11-14T01:23:00.000-08:00

For the first time all season, the New England Patriots defense surrendered a touchdown on its opponent’s game-opening drive. Brett Favre threw a short pass to Leon Washington and then watched him run it in for a seven-yard touchdown with 9:26 left in the first quarter.

Afterward, Brett threw his arms up in the air and looked for someone to celebrate with. Surely he expected a mob of hugs from anyone and everyone. He looked this way and that, eyes darting to and fro. For a whole six seconds, he looked and looked. You could see the desperate begging in his eyes.

Finally, resigned to a fruitless search, he took advantage of the closest target he could find, slapping an unidentified lineman on the butt.

Eric Mangini Still in Love with Belichick

2008-11-14T01:20:00.001-08:00

Once the Jay Feely kick had sailed through the uprights, New England coach Bill Belichick wanted to get the silly post-game exchange over with and get the hell out of there. He found Jets coach Eric Mangini and extended his hand as far as possible, hoping for a quick pump and go.

Mangini had other ideas. His eyes were almost apologetic--as if it pained him to beat his former mentor. Eric could not be content with a single handshake. No, he tried the old politico trick and grabbed Bill’s right forearm with his left hand. If he had time, I’m sure he would have tearfully apologized for the loss, for the whole spygate misunderstanding of last season, and for ever leaving his side. Perhaps he may have even scored a hug from ol’ Bill. In his best fantasy, even sneak in a quick kiss on Bill’s cheek, or maybe his forehead.

But it was not to be. Disgusted by the outcome of the game and their checkered past, Belichick all but ripped Mangini’s hands off of him and ran. Poor Eric—the tragic jilted lover. His team had just beaten the evil New England Patriots to move into first place in the AFC East, yet he was mysteriously morose.

Don’t be too discouraged coach Mangini. If you play your cards right, you just might get another shot at Bill and the Pats come playoff time.

Mangini to Feely: "I wish you were Bill."

Tonight's NFL Pick and Post-Game Preview

2008-11-13T16:36:00.000-08:00

First of all, a big YOU'RE WELCOME to all those who had funds in their gambling budget last week, as my Eddie in the Money Superpicks were a perfect three-for-three. Hopefully we can score some similar results this week. For tonight's pick, I like the home team (PATRIOTS -3 over Jets), but the real drama will come in the post-game exchange between former mentor, Bill Belichick, and the beligerent and rebellious once-supposed genius-in-waiting Eric Mangini. As you of course recall, it was Mangini who left the Patriots and took the one job Belichick admonished him not to take, head coach of the New York Jets. As if this weren't enough, Mangini and the Jets were also the ones who ratted out Belichick and the Patriots for their video-cheats last year. Luckily, for our viewing pleasure, we get to see these two coach against each other twice a year. The post-game exchange is always awkward. I wonder--would it really be such a big deal for Belichick to just run off to the locker room? Apparently that would amount to some sort of NFL coaching faux pas and a certain fine from the commissioner. So what drama awaits us tonight? The repressed and haughty grin from Belichick? The apologetic and droopy-eyed congratulations from Mangini? An attempted hug from Mangini, followed by shove from Belichick? Oh, the excitement! I can't wait for this game to be over.

Week 10 Overall: 9-4, 65-74-3 on the season
Week 10 Superpicks: 3-0, 22-11-2 on the season

2 for 9 on Big Plays Confirms Suspicion: The 2008 Seahawks are Losers

2008-11-10T23:33:00.000-08:00

Nearly all close ball games are determined by one or two big plays. While the defeated team may often lament over how they were thisclose to winning, the bottom line is that winners make those big plays and losers do not. On Sunday, the Seahawks had at least nine opportunities to make or stop a big play. They made good on two of the nine. And had they made or stopped just one more big play, the 21-19 loss may very well have turned out differently. Instead, it appears they were intent on reminding us that, for at least this year, they are definitely losers. Thanks guys. But to be honest, I’d rather be confused on that point and at least wonder if, just maybe, deep-down, the 2008 Seahawks could possibly be winners. Unfortunately, I’m afraid the answer is no. Here’s the proof:

Play Number One: On a 100-yard kickoff return for a touchdown by Ted Ginn, Jr., Seattle drew the attention of the official who penalized the Dolphins for a hold. Result: No Miami touchdown.

Play Number Two: With 8:59 left in the first quarter and the score tied 0-0, the Dolphins lined up at the Seahawks 39-yard-line. Running back Ronnie Brown took the handoff and then pitched it back to quarterback Chad Pennington on a flea-flicker. Miami wide-receiver Greg Camarillo was wide open on the left side, but Pennington decided to throw it as far as he can down to the middle of the field to a streaking Ted Ginn, Jr. who was bracketed by Seattle cornerback Marcus Trufant and safety Brian Russell. The pass was perfect, but there were still four hands within reach that could have knocked the ball away compared to two hands trying to catch it. Trufant and Russell failed to make a big play on the ball. Result: Dolphin touchdown.

Play Number Three: On the ensuing drive, the Seahawks lined up from the Dolphins 32-yard line and quarterback Seneca Wallace overthrew wide-receiver Bobby Engram, who had a step or two on the defender and likely would have scored had the pass been on-target.

Play Number Four: On the first play of the second quarter, the Dolphins lined up from their own 49-yard-line. Ronnie Brown, lined-up in the Wildcat formation, took the direct-snap and handed off to running back Ricky Williams. Defensive end Darrell Tapp reacted too slowly on the option by Brown (hand off to Williams or keep it himself), defensive tackle Howard Green was sealed off to the inside by Miami guard Justin Smiley, and 2008 first-overall pick Jake Long tied up safety Brian Russell. Result: Williams ran 51 yards untouched for another Dolphin touchdown to make it 14-0.

Play Number Five: With a 14-0 lead, the Dolphins lined up at their own 26-yard-line with 8:31 left in the second quarter. Craig Terrill disrupted Pennington’s pass just enough to allow Jordan Babineaux to step in front of the Dolphin wide-receiver, intercept the ball and run it back for a Seahawk touchdown. Result: Seahawks are on the board!

Play Number Six: Down 14-10 with 4:09 left in the third quarter, the Seahawks had the ball at the Dolphins 11-yard-line, first-and-10. After running back Julius Jones lost a couple of yards on first-down, Seneca Wallace found Koren Robinson in the end zone on second down. Wallace threw a perfect pass this time, hitting Robinson right in the hands. K-Rob, in dropping the ball, conjured up all of my nightmares he starred in back in his first stint with the Seahawks. Result: A Seahawk field-goal two plays later and four potential points left (dropped) on the field.

Play Number Seven: After scoring a touchdown to make the score 21-19, the Seahawks lined up for a two-point try from the Dolphins two-yard-line with 2:59 remaining in the game. A false-start pushed the try back five yards. Result: An unsuccessful try left the Seahawks still down two points with time winding down in the fourth quarter.

Play Number Eight: After admirably holding Miami to a three-and-out on the ensuing possession, the Seahawks needed only a field-goal to win the game. They drove to the 50-yard-line and had a first-and-10 with 0:46 left in the game—plenty of time to pick up twenty or so more yards and kick the game-winner. After two incompletions, Bobby Engram ran wide-open at the Dolphins 30-yard-line. This time, Wallace threw short. Result: Incompletion. Fourth down.

Play Number Nine: The Seahawks had one more chance with 26 seconds left and a fourth-and-ten. Wallace found Keary Colbert at the Dolphins 36-yard-line. A catch would have given the Seahawks a first-down and allowed them to spike the ball to stop the clock and try a 52-yard field-goal to win the game. Wallace was on target this time, hitting Colbert in the hands. Result: Another dropped pass. Turn-over on downs. Game over.

This article can also be read here.

Week 10 Picks

2008-11-08T08:57:00.000-08:00

Jaguars -6.5 over LIONS
Titans -3 over BEARS
PATRIOTS -3.5 over Bills
FALCONS -1 over Saints
JETS -9 over Rams
DOLPHINS -8 over Seahawks
VIKINGS -2.5 over Packers
Panthers -9.5 over RAIDERS
Chiefs +15 over CHARGERS
Giants +3 over EAGLES
Ravens (pick) over TEXANS
CARDINALS -9.5 over 49ers

Eddie in the Money Superpicks
Jaguars -6.5 over LIONS
FALCONS -1 over Saints
Chiefs +15 over CHARGERS

Mid-Year NFL Rankings and Second Half Predictions

2008-11-07T00:51:00.000-08:00

Only 11 teams currently have a losing record. Fifteen have a winning record, and six sit at 4-4. Optimistically, only seven teams are out of the running: Cincinnati, Kansas City, Oakland, Detroit, Seattle, San Francisco and St. Louis. With the exception of the AFC South, where the Titans lead with an 8-0 record, each of the remaining teams are within three games of the division leader. And all, including the Jaguars and Texans, are within two games of the wild-card lead. Much football is left to be played and surprises still await us. However, we certainly have a clearer picture of who might win the Superbowl than we did in September. So with that in mind, here are my Mid-Year Rankings and Second-Half Predictions:

Beefing Up Their College Scouting Departments
32. Detroit 0-8
31. Oakland 2-6
30. Cincinnati 1-8
29. Kansas City 1-7
28. St. Louis 2-6
27. San Francisco 2-6
26. Seattle 2-6

Panic Mode
25. Jacksonville 3-5
24. Houston 3-5
23. San Diego 3-5
22. Cleveland 3-6

Need Some Help
21. Denver 5-4
20. Miami 4-4
19. Minnesota 4-4
18. Dallas 5-4
17. Indianapolis 4-4
16. New Orleans 4-4
15. Green Bay 4-4

One-Win Postseason Ceiling
14. Atlanta 5-3
13. New York Jets 5-3
12. Buffalo
11. Baltimore 5-3
10. Arizona 5-3
9. Chicago 5-3
8. Philadelphia 5-3

The Contenders
7. New England 5-3
6. Tampa Bay 6-3
5. Washington 6-3
4. Carolina 6-2
3. Pittsburgh 6-2
2. New York Giants 7-1
1. Tennessee 8-0

Playoff Predictions
NFC Wildcard Playoffs: Washington over Arizona and Carolina over Chicago
AFC Wildcard Playoffs: San Diego over Buffalo and Indianapolis over Baltimore
NFC Divisional Playoffs: New York Giants over Carolina and Washington over Tampa Bay
AFC Divisional Playoffs: Tennessee over Indianapolis and San Diego over New England
Conference Championships: New York Giants over Washington and Tennessee over San Diego
Super Bowl: Tennessee over New York Giants

First Half Predictions and What to Do with Your NFL Time Machine

2008-11-07T00:32:00.001-08:00

If I had a time a special NFL time machine, the first thing I would do is go back 9 weeks to figure out what in the world I was thinking when I made my NFL first-half predictions. Next I would head about three months into the future and check the results of the 2008 NFL season and be seriously tempted to drop my life savings on a 20-team parlay. Of course, I’d resist said temptation because I know it would result in the early retirement of Eddie Utah and the abandonment of the Tuesday’s 12th Man Page. Here are the top three questions that I'd like to discuss with Eddie from 9 weeks ago:

1. Is there any logical reason why I would pick Kansas City to beat Tennessee in Week 7? Seriously? With Brodie Croyle and Damon Huard listed as the top two quarterbacks on the depth chart at the beginning of the season? I have nothing to say here. [Hanging my head in shame.]

2. New coach plus rookie quarterback equals disaster, right? Not in Atlanta or Baltimore in 2008. The Ravens number two ranked defense (in yards per game) has helped support Joe Flacco and the NFL’s number one ranked rushing team has a lot to do with Matt Ryan’s success in Atlanta.

3. Why in the world would I ever think a guy with a bulging disc could lead a group of receivers he found on the street to seven wins. Terrell Owens might have said, “You wanna line up and play receiver, we’ll play witchyou.” In fact, that’s not far off from what the Seahawks actually did—adding players like Billy McMullen (who?!) and Koren Robinson. As for Hasselbeck’s back, I HAVE A BULGING DISC! I know what it feels like and how limiting and debilitating it can be. It was fanciful to think that such an injury would have no effect on Matt’s production.

Tonight's NFL Pick

2008-11-06T15:21:00.001-08:00

I'm in the middle of an NFL column but will be running off to the TCU-Utah game before finishing, so here's my pick for tonight's game: Cleveland -3 over Denver. The Broncos have only covered once all year. Look for Cleveland to rally around Brady Quinn. How can you not pick a guy so chiseled and handsome?

Week 9: 5-9
Overall: 56-70-3

Eddie in the Money Superpicks
Week 9: 1-2
Overall: 19-11-2

Me[h]mo to the Haters: "They Create Open Shots for Me"

2008-11-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

In my first NBA fantasy draft, I took Mehmet Okur with my 11^th round pick, the 61^st overall. And my Jazz-guzzling coworkers derided me for it big time, thinking the 11^th round was way too early. After tonight’s performance, I think my 11^th round pick was a bargain. One rebound short of a double-double, MehmO. dropped in 22 points on 9-14 shooting to lead the Jazz to a seven-point victory over the Blazers. Taste it! I had my doubts through three quarters, but the Jazz came through in the clutch with a 29-point fourth quarter. What’s not to like about that? Especially cool was the clinching pass and finish from Andrei Kirilenko to Carlos Boozer with 30 seconds left in the game. I was impressed and happy for the Jazz, even though our friends in Vegas may have been a little disappointed that the Jazz had to hit that last free-throw and barely beat the 6.5-point spread.

Eddie’s Observations

*What’s with the same old intro' music? I think that was cool back in the early nineties. I’m no expert, of course, but how about something original?

*Jerry Sloan waited all the way until the lights came back, after introductions and his first appearance on camera, before unbuttoning his top button and loosening his tie. Why even bother? Or is it a tradition? I’m an ardent respecter of traditions, so if that’s the case, please disregard. Moving on…

*At least twice, announcer Ron Boone brought up random family tidbits about a Portland player. These comments were hurried, awkward and irrelevant to the flow of the game. Pssssst: I don’t care. Save it for a blow-out.

*Speaking of Boone, did anyone else have a hard time understanding his mumble-mumble-mummba-what!? What happened, did Hot Rod Hundley leave his bottle under the bench?

*By far, the loudest cheers of the night came in response to a handsome white-boy dropping treys. That Kyle is such a dream….

*In a close second were the cheers from the New Zealand Heartland Rugby team: “These chicks that are dancing—love these outfits! Hey mate…mate…” I wonder what Gilly had to say next.

*It would have been so much easier for me to recognize Jeff Hornacek in the studio if he would have rubbed his cheek each time he talked.

*After watching the gold-medal game, I’m a big fan of Rudy Fernandez. At one point in the third quarter he stopped a 9-point Jazz run with a big three-pointer. I was dying for just one r-rolling FerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrNANdezzz. I need to check out the Portland broadcasts.

*Was it just me, or did Brevin Knight enjoy having Steve Blake’s foot in between his legs just a little too much in helping Blake stay in-bounds on that random sideline play?

*Unofficially, the game was broadcast in high-def on Comcast Channel 664. Officially, Comcast Channel 664, the MOJO station, (according to my programming guide) was showing “Getting Abroad,” “Pressure Cook,” and “After Hours with Daniel."

This article can also be seen here.

The Utah Jazz: What I Know

2008-11-05T00:00:00.001-08:00

Since the Sonics have been abducted, I’m going to spend this NBA season experimenting with the Jazz. So consider this column a “before” portrait of my Jazz knowledge. Here’s what I know:

I know the Jazz used to be in New Orleans. Inexplicably, when they moved to Salt Lake City, they refused to change their name. Or am I missing something? I know I’ve only been here for nine months, but I have yet to notice a Jazz music scene that is equal to that of New Orleans. Surely Salt Lake could have claimed the Storm, Avalanche or Rockies before they were taken by the WNBA, NHL and MLB. Or how about the Bees (now a Triple-A Baseball team in town) or the Seagulls? Did they even have a naming contest to come up with something more befitting to the region or the city?

I know Jerry Sloan has coached the Jazz for a long time. I hear players hate playing for him, yet he’s been pretty steady and successful. They lost a couple of championships to Michael Jordan and the Bulls and unfortunately choked during the couple of years when Jordan was retired.

Speaking of choking, I know Karl Malone had a reputation for disappearing in big games. I know he and John Stockton have statues outside EnergySolutions Arena. I know Stockton holds a couple NBA records, like all-time assists and steals.

I know that Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer have gold medals for helping the U.S. team beat Spain this summer in China in one of the most exciting gold-medal games that I’ve watched. (Ok, so maybe it was one of the only gold-medal games I’ve watched…but I stayed up late on Saturday night/Sunday morning and watched it live. I get credit for that, right?)

I know that Jazz fans look for numerous ways to rationalize any possible argument that claims Deron Williams is a better point-guard than New Orleans’ Chris Paul. I tend to think Chris Paul is obviously better and that the Jazz secretly wish they would have picked him instead of Williams in whatever draft that was.

I know that in spite of the controversial comparisons to Chris Paul, Deron Williams signed a contract extension in the offseason. I know that he is currently out with a sprained ankle.

I know that Williams is trying to convince Carlos Boozer to similarly sign an extension to remain a member of the Jazz.

I know that sixth-man Andrei Kirilenko gets a one affair per year allowance from his wife.

I know that center Mehmet Okur is on my fantasy team.

I know that Utah girls like Kyle Korver.

I know the Jazz lost to the Lakers in the playoffs last year and I know that you can get a reasonably priced ticket from a scalper around half-time of most games, including playoffs.

I know that the Jazz website claims the games are broadcast on KJZZ (Comcast Channel 664). However, there is no Comcast Channel 664—at least in my house. I gave up trying to find last week’s opening night game on TV, doubting that it would be in HD anyway. On Saturday, I struggled again to find the Jazz game. It was not on 664 (which is something called “MOJO” in my house), or 13. I finally found the game on Comcast Channel 52. My Comcast guide now claims tomorrow night’s game will be on KJZZ Comcast Channel 13.

I know the Jazz are 3-0. Now let’s crank it up already.

Longest Play in Seahawks History—Great, Now Enjoy Your Seven-Point Lead, Turn off Your Television, and Spare Yourself 58 Minutes of Misery

2008-11-03T20:08:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I found myself contemplating what the ideal record would be for the Seahawks, in order to maximize the value of their draft position. I’m thinking somewhere around pick seven would be good. Limiting their lapses of incompetence to one or two more victories should take care of that. This sucks. I turned on Monday Night Football and fell in love with those deep red uniforms of the Redskins. Seattle’s lucky I didn’t see those lovely digs when I was three years old. Or do ex-Seahawks Zorn, Alexander, and Springs have a little too much to do with the infatuation? Maybe.

Why do I love Seahawks so much anyway? Because little three-year-old Eddie liked the pretty blue colors? It’s not even the same blue anymore! At least I have a logical alumnus reason for rooting for the Utah State Aggie Basketball team, and just as logical a reason for ignoring their Seahawk-like football team. I root for the Mariners when they're good and ignore them when they’re bad. And after the ball-raping removal of the Sonics from Seattle, I’m seriously considering just jumping on the bandwagon of whatever NBA team looks strongest this year. Maybe I’ll even wait until after game three of the finals before deciding.

I actually got excited two minutes into the Seahawks game yesterday. Koren Robinson, the 2001 Seahawks first-round draft pick (#9 overall), caught a Seneca Wallace pass and, thanks to a hustling block by Bobby Engram, ran it in for a 90-yard touchdown—the longest play in Seahawks history. Are you kidding me? It took 32 years to have a play longer than 89 yards? That’s pathetic.

More pathetic is the Seahawks offense, which did nothing else but punt all day long (11 consecutive, including 7 three-and-outs). Even the punter was pathetic—unless touchbacks and 20-yarders are good for a punter. Are they? The game was over long before the first half ended, but that didn’t stop the Seahawks from burning my eyes with an even more disgraceful second half. Down 17-7 with 7:58 remaining in the third quarter, the Seahawks faced a fourth-and-10 from the Eagle 34-yard-line. Rather than attempting a 51-yard field goal, they rightly decided to go for it. Two boneheaded procedure penalties later, they were punting on fourth-and-20. And the punter bombed one out there…a whole TWENTY YARDS! It barely made it past the first-down marker. So, in summary, a fourth-and-ten became a fourth-and-15 became a fourth-and-20, which was converted into a 20-yard punt. I’m feeling ill.

If only I had the will power to turn off the game, I might have missed witnessing one or more of the following football atrocities:

*Seahawk defenders celebrating on a first down stop only to give up a first-down two plays later. Congrats guys, you make a tackle for loss on first down. Now how about getting off the field on third down? You wussies.

*The Seahawks putting eight guys on the line-of-scrimmage on third-and-10. I was calling an Eagle touchdown all the way. The result was not a touchdown, but close enough—a 39-yard pass completion to the back-up tight end.

*An unnamed Seahawk defender, rather than trying to push Brian Westbrook backwards, merely falling on the Eagle running back as he fell forward for an extra three yards.

*Another unnamed Seahawk defensive back getting juked off of his feet by the freakin’ quarterback.

*The Sea Gals putting on vests at halftime. As TMQ consistently points out, the football gods highly frown upon such blatant unprofessionalism. Ladies, the football team needs all the help it can get. If you’re cold, then get off my sideline and just go home already. “I will not tolerate [cheerbabes] that think it’s about them when it’s about the team. We cannot make decisions that cost the team, [such as changing their apparel on] the sideline nonchalant[ly]. You know what? This is how I believe, ok? I’m from the old school. I believe this: I would rather play with [no cheerbabes], and just get [booed] all the way until we gotta do something else rather than play with [unprofessionalism] when I know that right now [those cheerbabes are] not sold out to [help] the team. It is more about them than it is about the team. Cannot play with ‘em. Cannot win with ‘em. Cannot coach with ‘em. Can’t do it. I want winners. I want [cheerbabes] that want to win!”

NFL Week 9 Picks

2008-11-01T22:10:00.001-07:00

This week, I rode 144 miles on my bicycle to run my odometer to 5,000. Assuming I average somewhere between 10 and 15 miles per hour, in the two years I’ve had my bike, I’ve spent somewhere between 330 and 500 total hours on the bike. That equates to two to three weeks of rollin’ through San Jose and Santa Clara, Campbell and Cupertino, Los Altos and Palo Alto, and from Antelope Island to Cottonwood Heights. The rest of my week was spent preparing for the GRE, which I took today. And I’m happy to report that I broke 350 on the verbal portion. Does that make me a member of the 350 club? (Note: This is an inside joke referencing a very successful professional friend of mine who may or may not have struggled to break 350 on his verbal portion of the GRE that he took nine years ago. Yes, as a matter of fact, his work does focus heavily on numbers.)

With these two goals crossed off my to-do list for fall, expect more focus dedicated to the Eddie Utah page in the coming week. For tonight, here are my Week 9 picks:

Texans +4.5 over VIKINGS
Lions +12.5 over BEARS
Steelers +2 over REDSKINS
SEAHAWKS +7 over Eagles
Jaguars -7.5 over BENGALS
Buccaneers -9 over CHIEFS
Cardinals -3 over RAMS
Falcons -3 over RAIDERS
BROWNS -1.5 over Ravens
BILLS -5 over Jets
TITANS -4.5 over Packers
BRONCOS -3.5 over Dolphins
GIANTS -8.5 over Cowboys
COLTS -6 over Patriots

Eddie in the Money Superpicks
BILLS -5 over Jets
Lions +12.5 over BEARS
TITANS -4.5 over Packers

Pick Performance
Week 8: 5-8-1
Overall: 51-61-3

Eddie in the Money Superpicks
Week 8: 2-3-1
Overall: 18-9-2

Lines
Bill Simmons 60, Cousin Sal 53, Eddie Utah 26.

Tuesday's 12th Man Report: Week 8

2008-10-28T03:26:00.000-07:00

I Was Right…
…in my prediction that Seneca Wallace would have a good game in leading the Hawks to victory. Two forced turnovers by the Seahawks, including an INTD, didn’t hurt.
…about the Titans, Ravens, Redskins and Browns.

I Was Wrong…
…about pretty much everything else. It all seems so silly in hindsight, really.
…to pick the Steelers. Just out of principle, that was a major indiscretion.
…to think the Bengals could win? Pulleaze… They actually played well for a half, but unfortunately, playing well equaled “only down by eight.” The second half didn’t go so well, as the Texans finally finished a game properly.
…to think this year’s London matchup would disappoint. It turned out to be a very entertaining game in which one turnover or one big play could have made for a different outcome.
…not to consider Brett Favre the wildcard in any game he plays. There is ALWAYS a possibility that he might just decide to (a) heave it up for grabs off of his back foot once or twice (twice for INTs against the Chiefs on Sunday) and/or (b) throw into double-coverage deep in his opponent’s territory (Chiefs eight-yard-line on Sunday) for an INTD.
…to consider the Bills infallible against the Dolphins.
…to think the Cowboys wouldn’t learn that they needed to feed the ball to Marion Barber (31 touches).
…to give up on the Eagles. Their strong line play on both sides of the ball really impressed me in the first few weeks of the season, which included a win over Pittsburgh and the close loss to Dallas in week two. They looked tough again on Sunday against the Falcons in simply overpowering them.

Eddie’s Observations

With less than a minute remaining in the game, I loved watching Jerry Jones meditating in his booth. Leaning forward in his chair, with his eyes closed and the fingers and thumb of each hand touching one another, he looked as if he were trying to channel down some sort of psychic energy to his team. The Dallas defense eventually stopped the Bucs, so apparently it worked, and maybe we’ll see it again next week.

Matt Ryan and Roddy White are still getting along nicely. White had eight catches for 113 yards and two TDs.

Anyone facing a fantasy team with Brian Westbrook had to be a little disappointed in how he decided to go ahead and score the touchdown at the end of the game, instead of downing the ball and allowing the Eagles to run out the clock, like he did last year in week 15 against the Cowboys.

Shaun Alexander is not lying down on first contact anymore. Unfortunately, he’s not making anyone miss either. He’s just getting lit up and dropped for very short gains (averaged 1.8 yards per carry on Sunday compared to 5.3 for Clinton Portis). Good call Tim Ruskell (Seahawks GM) on letting him go in the off-season. And good call Bengals on signing Cedric Benson instead of Alexander. My bad. Amazingly, however, Mr. Stone Hands actually caught a pass on Sunday. Mad props Shaun.

The Redskins’ time of possession doubled the Lions’ through three quarters—and they were only up six points.

It wouldn’t surprise me if TMQ talks about…
…Matt Cassel’s effort with 9:02 remaining in the Rams game on Sunday. With his team down three points, Cassel was standing at the Rams 35 on a third down play. Unable to find anyone open, he had a few options. He could have taken a sack, which would have resulted in a 52-yard field goal attempt. Or, he could have thrown the ball away and gave the kicker a 45-yard field goal attempt. Instead, he managed to escape the pocket and run forward for 4 yards, which resulted in a much more manageable 41-yard field goal attempt which Stephen Gostkowski converted. It certaintly didn't make the highlight reels, but was important nonetheless in a three-point game.
…the Ravens sweet play in which Joe Flacco handed the ball off to Troy Smith who then threw a 43-yard pass to…Joe Flacco.

Trent Edwards, who led the league in fourth quarter QB rating (through week 7 anyway), was decidedly un-clutch in giving the ball away three times in the fourth quarter against the Dolphins.

In the second quarter of the Bengals-Texans game, Matt Schaub reminded me of Tecmo superstar Randall Cunningham, errrr….I mean, “QB Eagles.” In Tecmo, you were able to run your QB on one sideline and just before crossing the line of scrimmage, you could magically—in stride, mind you—throw the ball all the way to a receiver on the other sideline. Since he was such a running threat, QB Eagles was a master at this play. Schaub’s play was only half as good, but still nostalgic. He was running in the middle of the field when he stopped suddenly before crossing the line of scrimmage and hit Ahman Green on the right sideline.

Make it Official: In the fourth quarter of the London game, Referee Tony Corrente informed us that there were two penalties on the play, “delay of game on the offense and delay of game on the quarterback for spiking the ball. Only one penalty will be assessed. It will be the delay of game.” So glad you could clarify.

Good Call/Bad Call
Good Call: On fourth-and-short from their own 47-yard-line, the Browns, instead of predictably running the ball straight up the gut, called a play-action pass to tight end Steve Heiden. Result: 50-yard reception for a first-and-goal at the Jaguars three-yard-line.
Bad Call: On third-and-short and fourth-and-short at around the Browns 37-yard-line, the Jaguars called two runs straight up the gut. Guess what the result was? Unless your offensive line is dominating the opponent’s defensive line, I see no reason for this sort of predictable play-calling--especially on two successive plays.

Matt Jones caught 8 passes for 117 yards and a touchdown, though he couldn’t come up with the game-winner, which was bobbled and ultimately dropped. In seven games, he’s three receptions shy of his career season-high of 41.

Fullback Leonard Weaver (2 rushes for 13 yards, 4 receptions for 116 yards and 2 TDs) made the 49ers looks silly and slow.

Mike Singletary needs to be fired immediately…so we can all enjoy the Coors Light commercials sure to result from his post-game tirade. On second thought, he’s sure to provide additional material in the coming weeks—let’s give him a few more games.

Pick Performance

Week 8: 5-8-1

Overall: 51-61-3

Eddie in the Money Superpicks

Week 8: 2-3-1

Overall: 18-9-2

Week 8 Picks

2008-10-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it's already week eight? The season is almost half over...which means, of course, that mid-season Eddie Awards ("The Eddies") and my second half preview are on tap. That's right--get excited. For now, here are my picks for week eight:

STEELERS -3 over Giants
I keep telling myself how much I despise the Steelers, yet seeing Hines Ward talk about his jaw-breaking hit last week curiously didn’t add to that hatred. I think these teams are pretty even. Flip a coin. Go with the home team.

Seahawks +5.5 over 49ERS
You know I’ll find a way to rationalize picking the Seahawks. So this pick and my rationalization really mean nothing. However, Seneca Wallace did have a good game two years ago when he started in front of his Sac-Town friends at San Francisco. This year, he’s going to do one better and get the victory. Mike Singletary may become a great coach, but he won’t be blocking for J.T. O’Sullivan, who’s going to be on his back early and often once again versus the Seahawks.

Bengals +9 over TEXANS
First the Texans struggle to win, then they struggle to cover. The Texans are an ok team, but they’re not going to blow anyone out, and last week, that included Detroit. If they can’t blow out Detroit, why should we think they can blow out Cincinnati a week later? The Bengals are not only going to cover—they’re going to come away with their first victory of the year.

TITANS -4 over Colts
Manning laid an egg last week and decides that’s a good time to talk about his staph infection in the preseason. Nice try trying to distract us away from the two INTDs he threw against the beat-up Packers secondary. I hope he’s spent this week thinking of next week’s media distraction, because the Titans defense is going to make him look bad once again.

RAVENS -7.5 over Raiders
Does anyone remember what the Raiders looked like against the Saints two weeks ago? Barely beating the Jet-lagged Jets in an overtime game that no one seemed to want has not convinced me.

Chargers -3 over Saints (in London)
Both teams are going to be equally jet-lagged. So instead of one team playing like crap, you get two teams playing like crap. That’s a recipe for an ugly game. Add in a sloppy wet field meant for soccer and what do you get? A sold-out game barely worth watching.

JETS -14 over Chiefs
Speaking of barely worth watching… The Jets will be much more comfortable this week at home and playing perhaps the worst team in the league. Strike that, the Chiefs ARE the worst team in the league. The Jets, who looked decidedly mediocre in losing to a struggling Raiders team are FOURTEEN-POINT FAVORITES. I previously wrote that no team should be a double-digit favorite, but like the 49ers in New York last week, this is another understandable exception.

Bills -1.5 over DOLPHINS
Where’s the respect? The Bills don’t even need to circle the wagons. They’re circled. The Wildcat has run its course and those wagons will keep it in check.

Bucs +1.5 over COWBOYS
The Cowboys are a mess and picked a bad time to have Tampa Bay coming to town. Hey, but at least they have another Pro-Bowl receiver to steal touches from T.O. That should keep the drama down.

Falcons +9 over EAGLES
The Falcons have me convinced. They are for real. They beat the Bears at home and beat the Packers in Green Bay, so how are they a 9-point underdog in Philly? The Eagles should have no more than the three-point home-field advantage, or less.

PATRIOTS -7.5 over Rams
The Haslett ra-ra has run out. As much as it pains me to pick the Patriots, I think they’re finally figuring things out without Mr. Brady.

Redskins -7.5 over LIONS
The Redskins defense and run game will be too much for the Lions to come back against this week.

Browns +7 over JAGUARS
The Browns are trending in the right direction. They beat the world champs and then played a strong game in Washington. This is another line that is just too high. This game will be close.

Week 7: 8-6
Overall: 46-53-2

Eddie in the Money Superpicks (home teams in CAPS)
Atlanta +9 over PHILLY
CAROLINA -4 over Arizona
Buffalo -1.5 over MIAMI
BALTIMORE -7.5 over Oakland
Cincinnati +9.5 over HOUSTON
Cleveland +7 over JACKSONVILLE.

Week 7: 3-2
Overall: 16-6-1

Read Between the Lines

2008-10-23T00:13:00.000-07:00

Rather than talk about his “dream job,” of coaching the 49ers, Mike Holmgren wants to focus on the 1-5 Seahawks…right now, anyway. Speaking on a different subject, Holmgren pointed out that “you can read all sorts of things into everything.”

So, with that in mind, let’s follow coach’s orders and read between his lines from Wednesday’s weekly press conference, and his call with the San Francisco media.

MH: “This is my home.”
Comment: The one in Monterrey? The one you’re building in Scotts Valley (15 minutes inland from Santa Cruz)? The one in Arizona?

MH: “Seattle’s my home.”
Comment: Ahhhh, but what about your dream job? Your team?

MH: “Seattle’s my team. Right Now…
Translation: I’ve only got 10 more games left. Ten! But who’s counting?

MH: “…, we’ve got to figure out how to win a game for the Seattle Seahawks. And all the rest of this stuff is, like you said, speculation.”
Comment: Didn’t you say the same thing about the Seahawks job back when you were coaching the Packers in 1998?
MH (totally out of context): “Ya know, I don’t like when he does that..”

MH (responding to the possibility of coaching the 49ers next year): “You are really gonna ask this?”
Translation: Ahhhhshhhhit. Here we go. This would be so much easier if it weren’t election season.

MH: “I’ll tell you what I said last week.”
Mike’s thoughts: Haha! I bet you don’t remember do you?!!

MH: “Right now the plan is to stay with the plan I told you.”
Mike’s thoughts: Just need to stall a little bit…and what exactly did I tell them? Maybe I should start reading the crap these guys write.

MH: “I’m gonna take a year off.”
Translation: I’m taking THIS year off...as in the 2008 Seattle Seahawks season...

MH: “Find out a little bit about myself and uh…”
Mike’s thoughts: I’m 60 freakin’ years old! What else is there to know about me?! If you guys buy that line, you're dumber than you look.

MH: “That’s the plan right now.”
Mike’s thoughts: If I say “right now” enough times, the 49ers should take the hint, right?

MH: “That’s how I’m thinking. And…and…I think I’ve been consistent with that.”
Mike’s thoughts: I THINK—haha! There’s a reason I don’t read your articles—plausible deniability baby!

MH: “You know. Right now, that’s how I’m lookin’ at it.”
Translation: Dear Scotty (McCloughan, 49ers General Manager), in January, after the Seahawks 4-12 season, I’ll be looking at it MUCH differently. [wink, wink]

Actual question from reporter: “If the perfect situation presented itself, would your big boss [wife Kathy] allow you to skip your sabbatical?”
MH: “Right now, she’s doin’ foot care at the Pike Street Clinic…for the homeless.”
Mike’s thoughts: Yeah, throw the charity work at ‘em! That should distract them.

MH: “I’m not gonna burden her with that right now.”
Translation: I’m scared to death to tell her the truth—that I’ll be back coaching again next year.

MH: “It’s something that we talked prior to this season.”
Translation: I’m not looking forward to the talk prior to NEXT season.

MH: “I’ll stick to what I said. I’d rather not deal with hypotheticals right now.”
Translation: Let’s be honest, this is more than hypothetical and we all know it.

MH: “One, Mike Nolan is an acquaintance and a friend of mine and I feel bad for him.”
Mike’s thoughts: Right now, anyway. Tomorrow? Next month? Ehhh, whatever…

MH: “Two, we’re gonna go down and play the 49ers and the important thing is the game with the 49ers.”
Mike’s thoughts: Will it help my cause if I throw the game and let the 49ers win? Haha, what am I thinking?! No need to throw the game—we suck! We have no chance of winning. Ha! This is great!

MH (on his relationship with Scot McCloughan, 49ers General Manager, who was previously the Seahawks Director of College Scouting): “I have a good relationship” with “Scotty … or Scot, I should say now.”
Mike’s thoughts: Key word being NOW. Mike Nolan Hired Scot. Then Scot became General Manager and fired Mike Nolan. Next, Scot will hire me…and guess who’s going to fire Scotty….mmmwahahahaha!

Week 8 Lines
Each week, Eddie Utah (“EU”) tries to predict the Vegas lines for each NFL game upcoming that week. It’s an honor system—I make my predictions before looking at the official lines. One of my favorite columnists, Bill Simmons (“BS”), does the same thing (and yes, in fact, I borrowed the idea from him). Bill even goes so far as to make a podcast about the lines with his friend Cousin Sal ("CS," who recently won an Emmy for his part in helping Sarah Silverman write that special song for ex-boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel). Bill and Sal have a contest on the podcast each week to see whose line predictions come closer to the actual Vegas line for each game. In week 2 of the 2008 NFL season, I decided to give it a try and find out if I could do any better than Bill and Cousin Sal. So far, the answer is a definitive no. Here are the season standings after week 7: CS 42, BS 41, EU 22. Week 8 was one of my poorer performances, with the final tally being BS 8, CS 6, EU 2, bringing the season standings to BS 49, CS 48, EU 24.

However, in spite of my poor performance, I am bringing you a special Eddie Utah first! This week, I’m presenting six (6!) Eddie in the Money Superpicks (16-6-1 on the season), including three underdogs. Here’s who I like (home teams in CAPS): Atlanta +9 over PHILLY, CAROLINA -4 over Arizona, Buffalo -1.5 over MIAMI, BALTIMORE -7 over Oakland, Cincinnati +9.5 over HOUSTON and Cleveland +7 over JACKSONVILLE.

Look for a Week 8 preview tomorrow or Friday. And also…with the start of the NBA regular season on October 28th, I’ll be starting my coverage of the hometown Jazz and we'll see if they can convert me.

Perspectives on Losing

2008-10-21T00:53:00.001-07:00

I skipped my usual NFL wrap-up column for this week. Maybe it’s because I’m a Seahawks fan and my team is 1-5. Growing up, that went with the territory. It was a way of life. But not long after Holmgren showed up, the Seahawks won their first playoff game in 21 years. Next thing you know, they had won their division four years in a row. Now, it looks like Mike Holmgren’s final season is going to be a little like Alzheimer’s—a long goodbye. Watching poor old Mike stand helplessly on the sideline in Tampa last night made me think about all the different ways you can lose and how the feeling of losing can change drastically, depending on how you lose and your role, or perspective, in the loss.

Important Note: It’s been suggested in a couple of personal emails to Eddie Utah that I “borrow” things from Bill Simmons. So just to clarify…if I’m quoting or directly referring to something from Mr. Simmons, I use quotation marks and/or a hyperlink. The same goes for any of the other columnists that I admire, like TMQ or DJ Gallo (check out the links to the right of the page). Now, as I am in the beginning stages of developing my own personal style, I naturally lean on the styles of those I aspire to be like. In fact, you may even notice me making the same observations that Simmons or TMQ make. This actually affords me a small token of pride because I have written all of my Tuesday morning columns before TMQ’s column comes out and before the Simmons/Cousin Sal podcast and before Simmons’ Thursday NFL column. It simply tells me that I am noticing and writing about things that I enjoy reading about that successful writers write about.

Back to this column. I will not be attempting to recycle Simmons’ Levels of Losing, but instead focus on how different people in different roles can have such different feelings about the exact same loss.

Let me provide a simple example that most of us can relate to. Think about how you felt when you played your heart out on the football field or the basketball court, but victory narrowly escaped you. Now compare that with a time when you were sitting on the end of the bench watching your teammates lose. Totally different feeling, right? Suppose, even further, that you were cut from your high school sophomore basketball team. Or perhaps, tragically, you were cut TWICE from that very team. (This obviously didn’t happen to me. And if it did, I totally wouldn’t be bitter and writing about it 17 years later.) How do you think it would feel to watch that team lose? You’d probably enjoy it—thinking all along that you could make a difference. Hell, in that scenario, seeing your own team win probably hurts more than watching them lose.

In approximately 37 days, my brother and I will be watching the Seahawks miraculously beat the Cowboys in the last Thanksgiving Day game at Texas Stadium (with the help of my brother, an ardent Cowboys fan, who happens to be a good-luck charm for the Seahawks). With that big game coming up and in the back of my head, I pondered the thoughts and feelings of those involved in the losses on Sunday for both the Cowboys and the Seahawks.

Perspective Number 1: The Backup
This week’s backups were Tony Romo and Matt Hasselbeck. Romo made a valiant effort, putting on his uniform, warming up and even letting team Dr. Jerry Jones diagnose his pinky and clear him to play, but finally deciding that he couldn’t help the team. And was he happy he didn’t play? Or was he disappointed? I’m guessing disappointed, based on Brad Johnson’s three picks. Surely Romo could have done better, even sans pinky. Hasselbeck, on the other hand, didn’t even make the trip to Tampa. He stayed in Seattle doing core exercises to strengthen and protect his back. Maybe he even used one of these highly effective core-strengthening chairs. I think that Hasselbeck could have made a difference last night and I’m guessing he felt the same. Would it have been enough for a Seahawks victory? I doubt it. The majority of that team just has terrible body-language. They look like they’re just going through the motions, surprised when good things don’t happen. They’re not hungry. And teams that are not hungry do not win—they go through the motions and lose.

Romo and Hasselbeck may have had good attitudes about their teams' losses, mostly because they were backups only due to injury. They know they could have made a difference and their teams know it too. So while they may have cared and empathized with yesterday’s losses, true backups may not have cared quite as much.

Perspective Number 2: The Coach
Even though both teams were blown out, their coaches looked remarkable different on the sidelines. I think both were hurt and upset, but in different ways. Wade Philips’ team has high expectations and lots of Pro Bowl talent. His facial expressions seemed to say, “How am I supposed to deal with all this drama? Why can’t we hang on to the football and why is Brad throwing so many interceptions? What’s wrong with our defense? And I am soooo fired…” In other words, he was surprised and shocked and just couldn’t understand why his team looked so bad.

Holmgren’s body language was a little different. He seemed to be saying, “What more can I do? Our franchise quarterback is in Seattle. We’ve injured eight different receivers and when the guys playing actually run the right routes, half the time they drop the ball. Our defense is on the field too much and the players don’t seem to care. And I’ll be coaching the 49ers next year anyways.”

The different reactions could also be attributed to the varying expectations. The Seahawks hoped to be competitive and maybe get lucky and come away with a win while the Cowboys expected to blowout the Rams.

Perspective Number 3: The Star
I haven’t read anything that T.O. said after the game, but I’m guessing whatever he did say had something to do with Brad Johnson’s inability to get him the ball. Marion Barber had an ok game, rushing for 100 yards and scoring a touchdown. If I’m him, I really can’t be too disappointed. What more could he have done? Yeah, there’s always something more you could do. But his performance definitely doesn’t make the top five reasons why the Cowboys lost. Not so for all the Pro Bowlers on the Cowboys defense. They should be pointing their fingers right back at themselves. If I’m on that defense, I’m definitely wondering how we let the Rams patchwork offensive line assist Steven Jackson in rushing for 160 yards and scoring three touchdowns.

Do the Seahawks have any offensive stars besides Hasselbeck? Walter Jones, I suppose. So how does he feel when he performs in his usual steady way and his team loses the way it did last night? My guess is that he felt a lot like Coach Holmgren. What else can he do? He can protect the quarterback and open up holes for the running backs, but he can’t block on the right side of the line and the left side. He can’t throw, run or kick the ball. He’s got to feel a little helpless and frustrated, knowing that he needs to be a leader and inspire his mediocre teammates.

I wish I knew how the Pro Bowlers on defense felt. They are really the ones I’m talking about when I say that they’re just going through the motions. I see no enthusiasm from that group; no excitement, no passion. And I don’t think they get it. Someone needs to light a fire in that locker room and get them excited about playing football again. (I’m looking at you, Lofa Tatupu and Patrick Kerney.)

Perspective Number 4: The Fan
A true fan is the eternal optimist—always believing their team to be better than it is, always expecting, or at least hoping for, miraculous plays, always cheering them on, even in 2-14 and 1-15 seasons. True fans identify themselves a little too much with their teams. A victory will make their day, a loss can ruin their week or even year, if their team happens to get screwed out of what may be their only chance for a Super Bowl victory in their lifetime.

I know exactly how my brother felt yesterday and today…and how he’ll probably feel tomorrow and the rest of the week—basically until his team turns things around and starts winning again. It’s frustrating. The media has high expectations for the Cowboys—and the fans’ expectations are always higher. Yeah, we fans try to temper them sometimes to protect ourselves from the disappointment that inevitably comes, absent a Lombardi Trophy, but deep down, we are always hopeful. Yet, in spite of my hopes, if I’m a Cowboys fan, I’m worried—worried about a certain little pinky, worried about T.O. losing touches to the Roy Williams without a broken forearm, worried about the Roy Williams with a broken forearm, worried about the play-calling that should center around a strong running attack, and worried about the whereabouts of Adam Jones. Yesterday’s loss just brings so much uncertainty. The Cowboys have the talent to be a great team, but will they become one?

With the Seahawks at 1-5, even my hopes are sinking fast. Realistically, I’m already looking forward to the draft and hoping the Seahawks can find another Lofa Tatupu or two. Preferably great big ones that play defensive tackle and offensive guard. They ought to be looking for a quarterback to groom as Hasselbeck’s replacement too. But I still want to see them win. I’d like to see reasons for optimism heading into the offseason. And I don’t want the Seahawks to have a high draft pick. A top-five draft pick is a curse these days. Last year’s number one pick, offensive tackle Jake Long, makes more money than any offensive tackle in the whole league. It’s crippling to your team’s salary cap to pay so much money to an unproven rookie. Holmgren is leaving and he appears to be taking the golden age of the Seahawks with him.

Week 7 Picks

2008-10-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

BUFFALO (pick) over San Diego

Philip Rivers and the Chargers looked solid last week beating the Patriots on Sunday night. And Trent Edwards looked solid sitting on his couch and resting his head. San Diego struggled in their trip to Miami two weeks ago, but could have better luck in Buffalo against a beat-up Bills team that will be missing starting cornerback Terrence McGee. Nevertheless, a long cross-country trip preceding next week’s game in London will be too much for the Chargers to overcome against a quality team in Buffalo.

Indianapolis -1.5 over GREEN BAY

Peyton Manning should have fun with the Packers short-staffed secondary. For a guy who’s been very consistent over an 11-year career, it’s hard not to believe Manning when he says that last week was “really is like the first week of the season for me. All I’ve ever known is taking every rep at every practice and playing in all the preseason games, so I did miss some time there and I’ve been working through that.” If he can perform with a 134.7 QB rating against the Packers, like he did against Baltimore, the NFL’s number one ranked passing defense, this one should be another run-away.

CAROLINA -3 over New Orleans

If the Carolina, as opposed to the Dillon, Panthers show up, this could be a good game. Jake Delhomme, who threw three picks, was surprisingly accountable, saying, “Let's be honest, I was pretty much pathetic." And Coach John Fox claimed that his team didn’t even break a sweat until it was 14-0. The Saints, meanwhile, coasted to an easy 34-3 win over Oakland. They looked good, but the Raiders have a habit of making a lot of teams look good. I expect the Panthers to be more ready this week.

CHICAGO -3 over Minnesota

Sorry Vikings, Kyle Orton, unlike Dan Orlovsky, has actually figured out the dimensions of the end zone. In spite of what should be a strong run-game, the Minnesota offense has not scored a lot of points. Two weeks ago, the Saints turned over the ball four times, helping the Vikings to a close win. And last week, the Minnesota offense struggled to score 10 points against a weak Lions team. Only the Orlovsky gaffe allowed them to leave with a victory. The Bears secondary may be a little beat-up, but it won’t matter. Their superior offense will be enough.

Pittsburgh -9.5 over CINCINNATI

Do the Bengals rise up and play tough against another good team? They played tough against the Giants and Cowboys. But Pittsburgh is not in the NFC East. That may not make a big difference, but it is a divisional game and the Bengals are once again without Carson Palmer (who I think is on his way to a little place called injured reserve).

Tennessee -9 over KANSAS CITY

Without Larry Johnson and with Brodie Croyle starting at quarterback, the Chiefs will have a hard time scoring any points. Tennessee could cover this spread by scoring only 10 points.

MIAMI -3 over Baltimore

It’s hard to say how good or bad Baltimore may be. Their two wins were against Cleveland and Cincinnati. Their three losses were to Indianapolis, Tennessee and Pittsburgh. Miami’s two wins, on the other hand, were over last year’s participants in the AFC championship game (New England and San Diego).

NEW YORK GIANTS -10.5 over San Francisco

In the last two weeks, San Francisco was the one team who couldn’t get a home win against a team coming all the way from the East Coast. This week they buck the double-digit trend and become only the second double-digit dog all season not to cover.

Dallas -7 over ST. LOUIS

“Am I optimistic that we can win without Tony? Yes, truly I am,” linebacker Greg Ellis said. “I’m just disappointed in this organization right now, from the whole deal of it. Things just aren’t going really good.” As long as the Cowboys get Marion Barber the ball, all their drama won’t be enough to derail them against the St. Louis Rams (who haven’t beaten the Cowboys since 1986, when they were in Los Angeles).

HOUSTON -9.5 over Detroit

Jon Kitna’s been keeping tabs on his old team. "Was there reasonable cause to put me on IR?" Kitna asked. "Yeah, because they said there's a bulging disk. But the reality is, most guys have bulging disks. ...” Based on this quote, he’s apparently been listening to Mike Holmgren, who made the same comment about Matt Hasselbeck’s back…back in September. Holmgren claimed that “I have a bulging disc. You have a bulging disc. Everybody does. I think if you play football for a while, and they look at your back, you're going to have a disc that looks funky.”

Anyway, I can’t pick a team with a quarterback who hasn’t learned the dimensions of the field.

New York Jets -3 over OAKLAND

The Bay Area: Where East Coast teams go to cover! This is a common sense pick more than anything. The Raiders organization is a joke; Brett Favre has never lost to the Raiders; and the Jets are a much better team—i.e., more than three points better…even on the road.

Cleveland +7.5 over WASHINGTON

The Redskins will play much better than last week, but the Browns will come in with a lot of confidence after playing nearly perfectly (zero punts, zero turnovers) on Monday night against the champs.

Seattle +10.5 over TAMPA BAY

In spite of the Seahawks well-documented trouble on the East Coast, they have never lost in Tampa Bay. Also, only one double-digit favorite has covered all year. The Bucs have played very well all year and have been in each game. Their two losses are by a combined seven points. It’s week seven and time for them to take a week off.

Denver +3 over NEW ENGLAND

The Patriot offense should look a little more competent against the Denver D, which is giving up the third-most yards per game. But I’m guessing Mike Shanahan was paying attention last week when Philip Rivers lit up the Pats defense for 306 yards and 3 touchdowns. Plus, Shanahan is 5-1 against New England since 2001. He may be dismissing that record, but Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall are licking their chops.

Eddie in the Money Superpicks (home team in CAPS)
BUFFALO (pick) over San Diego, CHICAGO -3 over Minnesota, Indianapolis -1.5 over GREEN BAY, Tennessee -7 over Kansas City, and New York Jets -3 over OAKLAND (13-4-1 on the season)

Week 7 One-Liners

2008-10-14T23:01:00.001-07:00

Each week, Eddie Utah (“EU”) tries to predict the Vegas lines for each NFL game upcoming that week. It’s an honor system—I make my predictions before looking at the official lines. One of my favorite columnists, Bill Simmons (“BS”), does the same thing (and yes, in fact, I borrowed the idea from him). Bill even goes so far as to make a podcast about the lines with his friend Cousin Sal ("CS," who recently won an Emmy for his part in helping Sarah Silverman write that special song for ex-boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel). Bill and Sal have a contest on the podcast each week to see whose line predictions come closer to the actual Vegas line for each game. In week 2 of the 2008 NFL season, I decided to give it a try and find out if I could do any better than Bill and Cousin Sal. So far, the answer is a definitive no. Here are the season standings after week 6: CS 37, BS 34, EU 18. On to week 7…

San Diego at Buffalo
Trent Edwards’ head might still hurt after trying to compete with Philip Rivers.
CS: BUF -2, BS: sd -3, EU: BUF -3, Actual: sd -1
Score: CS 0, BS 1, EU 0

New Orleans at Carolina
If the Carolina, as opposed to the Dillon, Panthers show up, this could be a good game.
CS: CAR -5, BS: CAR -4, EU: CAR -3, Actual: CAR -3.5
Score: CS 0, BS 2, EU 1

Minnesota at Chicago
Sorry Vikings, Kyle Orton, unlike Dan Orlovsky, has actually figured out the dimensions of the end zone.
CS: CHI -3, BS: CHI -4, EU: CHI -6, Actual: CHI -3
Score: CS 1, BS 2, EU 1

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
Do the Bengals rise up and play tough against another good team?
CS: pit -7, BS: pit -8, EU: pit -7, Actual: pit -9.5
Score: CS 1, BS 3, EU 1

Tennessee at Kansas City
Instead of pushing women, Larry Johnson should try pushing the pile a little harder.
CS: ten -7.5, BS: ten -12.5, EU: ten -9, Actual: ten - 7
Score: CS 2, BS 3, EU 1

Baltimore at Miami
After their three-point showing in week 6, the Ravens should be giving the Wildcat a try.
CS: MIA -1, BS: MIA -1.5, EU: MIA -2, Actual: MIA -3
Score: CS 2, BS 3, EU 2

San Francisco at New York Giants
Angry Giants team versus a 49er team crossing three time zones equals a Giants rout. (But beware of the double-digit favorite.)
CS: NYG -9, BS: NYG -13.5, EU: NYG -11, Actual: NYG -10.5
Score: CS 2, BS 3, EU 3

Dallas at St. Louis
The Cowboys have lost a quarterback and a cornerback, and added a wide-receiver. I think that’s enough for a close win in St. Louis.
CS: dal -6.5, BS: dal -6.5, EU: dal -6, Actual: dal -7
Score: CS 3, BS 4, EU 3

Detroit at Houston
The Texans won’t need any last second heroics this week.
CS: HOU -4.5, BS: HOU -6.5, EU: HOU -4.5, Actual: HOU -9
Score: CS 3, BS 5, EU 3

Indianapolis at Green Bay
Let’s see that again, Indy.
CS: GB -2, BS: ind -1, EU: Pick ‘em, Actual: ind -1
Score: CS 3, BS 6, EU 3

New York Jets at Oakland
Oakland’s a mess. The Jets could fly in from Japan and walk all over Cable and crew.
CS: nyj -5, BS: nyj -6, EU: njy -6, Actual: nyj -3
Score: CS 4, BS 6, EU 3

Cleveland at Washinton
Neither of these teams is going to repeat last week’s performance, are they?
CS: WAS -7.5, BS: WAS -8, EU: WAS -3.5, Actual: WAS -7
Score: CS 5, BS 6, EU 3

Seattle at Tampa Bay
If you watched the Seahawks game on Sunday you know the real reason John Madden is skipping this one. Looking forward to some serious straight talk from Cris Collinsworth though.
CS: TB -16.5, BS: TB -8, EU: TB -10.5, Actual: TB -10.5
Score: CS 5, BS 6, EU 4

Denver at New England
The Patriot offense should look a little more competent against the Denver D.
CS: NE -?, BS: NE -3, EU: NE -3.5, Actual: NE -3
Score: CS 5, BS 7, EU 4

Season Standings: CS 42, BS 41, EU 22

Eddie in the Money Superpicks (home team in CAPS): BUF +1 over sd, CHI -3 over min, ten -7 over KC, and nyj -3 over OAK (13-4-1 on the season)

The Tuesday 12th-Man Report

2008-10-13T23:17:00.000-07:00

Are You Kidding Me?
With 1:19 left in the game, the Houston Texans faced 2nd-and-17 from the Dolphins 16 yard-line, down five points, 28-23. Fans of the winless Texans were headed to the exits. It was over. Last week, the home team gave up 21 points in 2:10. They were cursed and would just as well move to Detroit to become Lions fans.

The Texans hadn’t given this game away in the same dramatic fashion as last week, but they were doing their best. Since they had outgained Miami 485 to 370 and won the time of possession battle, they must have felt compelled to give up two big plays to Patrick Cobbs (who?) and turn the ball over four times (compared to once for Miami).

And now, with the clock ticking down, surely Matt Schaub would throw up one last charity pick, right? Perhaps even an INTD? Nope. Not yet. A diving catch by Andre Davis gains 19 for the Texans. Next play, Schaub appears to fumble the ball away to Miami as he gets sacked. Game over, right? Nah, these guys want to drag it out. The play is ruled an incomplete pass. One more minute… On third-and-ten, Schaub throws an interception to Andre Goodman. Ok, there we go. What’s that Ed Hochuli? The ball skipped off the ground? Great—ok, one more play.

Fourth-and-ten with 39 seconds to go and the ball on Miami’s 36-yard-line. Situation: still hopeless. And somehow, Andre Johnson makes an amazing 23-yard catch, in between two defenders.

“He was covered pretty good, but he made an unbelievable catch,” Kevin Walter said. “After that I said, ‘We’re gonna win this game.’ We were all confident after that.”

If all of the Texans weren’t confident after the Johnson fourth-down catch, Kevin Walter and Matt Schaub certainly were. After spiking the ball to stop the clock, Schaub finds a wide open Walters streaking across the field for a 30-yard gain. And now the Texans face a first-and-ten from the Dolphin 11-yard-line with 23 seconds left. After an eight-yard pass to Andre Johnson, and two incomplete passes, Schaub and the winless Texans have one last shot, facing fourth-and-two from the Dolphin three-yard-line with seven seconds left in the game. Schaub lines up with five wide receivers and an empty backfield. Guess who else has an empty backfield? That’s right, the Miami Dolphins. So Schaub drops back, reads the block of his right guard, jukes left and then goes right, jogging in for the game winning touchdown. And the Texans are on the board in the win column!

I was Wrong…
…about most of my picks, including the Panthers, who were routed by the Bucs. Untimely turnovers got them off to a bad start, and the Bucs running game took it from there.
…to put so much faith in all that three zone bunk. The Patriots, one of two teams crossing three time zones, failed to cover, as they were routed by the Chargers. The Eagles, on the other hand, had no problem playing on the left coast once the fourth quarter rolled around, erasing a nine-point deficit with 23 fourth-quarter points, scored partly thanks to three turnovers. As for the two time-zone crossing teams, the Raiders and the Cowboys both failed to cover, while the travel posed no problem for Jacksonville or Green Bay, both outright winners. Overall, the long-distance travelers went 3-3 ATS (against the spread).

I was Right…
…to change one of my Eddie In the Money Superpicks--I just changed the wrong one. Roddy White showed no ill-effects of the concussion he suffered in practice earlier in the week and Matt Ryan continued to impress in the Falcons big win over the Bears. Obviously, I should have left that pick alone and changed the Ravens pick, as Peyton Manning decided this was the week to start playing.
…about the Lions playing tough against an overrated (at least this week) Vikings team. Too bad Dan Orlovsky was playing with some sort of crazy international rules where the big fat white line at the back of the endzone is in. I also learned something. There is no New England Patriot juggernaut in the league this year. Take double-digit favorites at your peril. So far, only one of nine has covered. And you’d never guess who. (Seahawks -10 over Rams). Even nine points was enough to doom the World Champs tonight against the Browns tonight.

The Throw Me in the Mosh Pit Goat of the Week is none other than Pete Kendall, Washington Redskin left guard. With 23 seconds left in the second quarter, Kendall committed the cardinal sin of lineman-ball relationships. First, he tried to catch a batted ball. Second, after catching the ball, he thinks about just falling down on it (the right thing to do), but instead tries to run with it. The Result: A fumble returned for a Rams touchdown.

Isn’t that Special
Josh Brown, St. Louis Rams kicker, booted four field goals, including a 51-yarder off the upright (doink!) and the 49-yard game-winner (his 7th career game-winner). After an unsportsmanlike conduct call on Richie Incognito moved the Rams back 15 yards, they didn’t even try to get closer for Brown, even though they had 35 seconds left. They had such faith in them that they just handed the ball off to Steven Jackson. Perhaps the Rams remembered all too well the two heart-wrenching game-winners that Brown hit against them as a member of the Seattle Seahawks in 2006, including a 54-yarder in St. Louis. The man is clutch.
The Arizona Cardinals beat the Dallas Cowboys thanks to a 93-yard kickoff return for a touchdown by J.J. Arrington and a blocked punt by Sean Morey that was returned for a touchdown by Monty Beisel.
With 10:10 remaining in the fourth quarter, Jacksonville punter Adam Podlesh was dragged two or three yards by Glenn Martinez, but ultimately hung on and probably saved a Broncos touchdown.

Eddie’s Observations
Mike Holmgren gets this week’s Bill Belichick Injury Disclosure Award for claiming most of last week that Matt Hasselbeck would play. Not only did he not play, but now he’s probably out for next week too.
A Big Welcome Back to Peyton Manning: 19 of 28 (67.9%) for 271 yards, 3 TDs and a QB rating of 134.7 against a tough Ravens defense. Please tell me we can’t count on continued big fantasy days from Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne.
Expansion Hypothetical: If I was the General Manager of a new expansion team and could pick any player from any team, my first pick would be Drew Brees. I haven’t seen any quarterback throwing the ball more accurately or leading their team with more poise this season.
In regard to Matt Ryan’s throw at the end of the Chicago-Atlanta game: With only six seconds to work with, it really shouldn’t be that hard to stop someone from gaining 20 yards AND getting out of bounds. Right?
Midway through the first quarter, the Jets faced first and goal from the 7, and it only took them EIGHT plays to score a touchdown.
I’m pretty sure Bill Simmons mentioned something about having David Akers attempt 54-yard field goals with his 46-yard leg…and that was BEFORE it happened in the game Sunday. The result: A blocked kick by the 49ers returned it for a touchdown.
The best part of the Seahawks game was seeing Gary Payton in the booth and imagining how he’d look as a 6’4” WR. You know there’s something wrong with your city when the best part of Sunday’s football game was seeing a retired star of an NBA team that no longer exists.
With 6:43 left in the third quarter, I’m fairly certain I caught Romeo Crennel sleeping on the sideline. And not in the usually way, but literally—he was actually nodding off. Maybe that’s what happens when your team’s total combined punts and turnovers for the game is…ZERO.

Announce this Please!
In the Sunday night Patriots-Chargers game, I’m pretty sure (even though I was watching DVR-delayed and skipping everything but the actual plays) that Al Michaels made some Hochuli-related joke about how San Diego doesn’t allow zebras at the zoo. He didn’t even get a courtesy laugh from John Madden. Maybe that's the real reason Madden is skipping next week's Tampa-Seattle game. He just can't take any more of Al Michaels.

Pick Performance (correct picks in bold)
Panthers +1 over BUCCANEERS
TEXANS -3 over Dolphins
SAINTS -7 over Raiders
BRONCOS -3.5 over Jaguars
49ERS +5 over Eagles
CARDINALS +5 over Cowboys
SEAHAWKS OFF over Packers
CHARGERS -5 over Patriots
REDSKINS -13.5 over Rams
Bears -3 over FALCONS
JETS -8.5 over Bengals
Lions +13 over VIKINGS
Ravens +4 over COLTS
Giants -9 over BROWNS

5-9 (38-47-2 overall)

Eddie in the Money Superpicks
Lions +13 over the VIKINGS
Ravens +4 over the COLTS.
JETS -8.5 over Fitzpatrick and the Bengals

2-1 (13-4-1 overall)

Picks for Week Six

2008-10-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

Panthers +1 over BUCCANEERS

Regarding who will be playing quarterback for the Bucs on Sunday, coach Jon Gruden said, “We’re going to address the quarterback situation once we get all the facts. Obviously, health is going to be an issue. I thought Jeff did do some good things (Sunday). His health has been an issue, and his return to health is also something that we’re excited about.” Translation: “I hate that scum-sucking, freckle-faced pint-size of a quarterback…but he’s probably better than Brian Griese, so if I have to play him, I will.” Seriously—earlier in the season there were reports that the two were “ready to kill each other.” In spite of their 3-2 record, does this sound like a team destined for long-term success this season? My, what change a year can bring. The Panthers on the other hand, are running the ball well with both DeAngelo Williams and rookie Jonathan Stewart, Jake Delhomme has thrown five touchdowns compared to two interceptions, and the defense hasn’t allowed a touchdown in nine quarters (or five, if you don’t count the game against Kansas City).

TEXANS -3 over Dolphins

In two weeks, the Dolphins have beaten both participants in last year’s AFC Championship game. And now they’re a little cocky. “The Dolphins are here,” receiver Greg Camarillo said. “We have arrived. Other teams would doubt us before. Now they have to prepare to play a great team. We’re ready to play anybody.” WHOAHbuddy. “A great team?” I know you’ve doubled your win total from last year’s single and all, but a great team? Really? I love the Wildcat and how they’ve played defense, but two wins does not a great team make.

Houston on the other hand, is an overtime field goal and a couple of silly, late fourth-quarter fumbles away from having two consecutive wins of their own. In other words, they’ve had a few bad breaks. They’re the hungrier team right now and desperately need a win to put the heart-wrenching loss to Indy last week behind them.

Three Zone Bunk

I recently pointed out that last Sunday, four out of five NFL teams who traveled across two or more time zones lost. ESPN’s John Clayton has my back. He found that this season, the visiting team has lost 10 out of 12 games when having to travel across three time zones. One of the two winners was Carolina in their last-second win in San Diego in week one.

Hopefully, some diligent Seahawk staffer has pointed this out to Coach Holmgren. It’s an explanation as good as any for the Seahawks fantastic record at home and abysmal record on the East Coast.

This week, three zone bunk is in play for two games, Patriots at CHARGERS (like the Cardinals two weeks ago, the Patriots did not go home this week) and Eagles at 49ERS. The Raiders, Jaguars, Cowboys and Packers all have to travel across two time zones. Is Vegas aware of this “three zone bunk?” Of course they are. But I’m going with the home teams anyways. That includes the Seahawks, who look like they’ll be starting Charlie Frye versus the Packers. Two time zones plus the Ewing Theory (Hasselbeck not playing) = a big win in Seattle.

Picks: SAINTS -7 over Raiders, BRONCOS -3.5 over Jaguars, 49ERS +5 over Eagles, CARDINALS +5 over Cowboys, SEAHAWKS OFF over Packers, and CHARGERS -5 over Patriots.

REDSKINS -13.5 over Rams

With the way the Redskins are running the ball and holding on to it for long drives, they could win 14-0 with two 20-minute drives.

Bears -3 over FALCONS

I’m changing one of my Superpicks. This line has upped to -3 from -1. Part of the reason may be that Lawyer Milloy knocked out teammate and leading Falcons receiver, Roddy White, in practice on Wednesday. Matt Ryan has struggled when Michael Turner isn’t churning up turf. I think Turner will struggle against a strong Bears run defense—which means Matt Ryan will struggle. Add in the fact that Roddy White may not play, and if he does, he may be ineffective, and that’s a recipe for a big win by the Bears.

JETS -8.5 over Bengals

Speaking of moving lines, this one has jumped three points from -5.5 after the Bengals announced that Ryan Fitzpatrick will start over ailing Carson Palmer. I liked the Jets at -5.5 versus Palmer. Fitzpatrick definitely gives the Jets more than three points.

Lions +13 over VIKINGS

This line is just too high. And it hasn’t changed much since the news broke about whether or not Kitna would play because of back spasms. Why is the line too high? The Viking are just not very good. Yes, they’ve got a lot of talented players, but they’re not a very good team. They were lucky Monday night in New Orleans. Two receivers nearly ran into each other they still scored a touchdown on the play. Plus, I don’t trust Gus Frerotte.

I know what you’re saying. All the trends point towards another Lions loss. They haven’t won all season; they’ve scored a total of three points in four first quarters this year; they have lost ten straight at the Metrodome; and their defense hasn’t intercepted a pass all season. That all changes Sunday. You can only keep them down for so long. And the Lions are surprisingly optimistic, With Rod Marinelli taking offense to a reporter’s suggestion of the team quitting and Roy Williams talking about the possibilities of making the playoffs: “It happened before. It happened with the ‘92 Chargers. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.” Mix all this together, add 13 points, and what results is a Lion win or a close loss.

Ravens +4 over COLTS

Indianapolis struggled to beat both the Vikings and the Texans, neither of which is a great team. Only Sage Rosenfels’ impersonation of Homer Simpson playing quarterback allowed the Colts to win last week. The Ravens, on the other hand, lost a close game to one of the league’s best teams—the Tennessee Titans. Throw out the questionable roughing the passer call and the result may have been different.

Giants -9 over BROWNS

I think this line jumped from -7 to -9 based solely on the strength of the Giants versus the weakness of the Browns. Do you really think a bye week is going to help the Browns look better than they did two weeks ago versus Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Bengals? I say no.

Eddie Utah Superpicks

I changed my Superpicks in Week One and it came back to bite me. But the Bears rush defense scares me too much versus the Falcons. Their defense could score a touchdown or two on Sunday. But I still like the Lions +13 over the VIKINGS and the Ravens +4 over the COLTS. And my replacement Superpick this week will be the JETS -8.5 over Fitzpatrick and the Bengals. Last week: 3-1-1, Season: 11-3-1

Season standings

Eddie Utah--Last Week: 5-7-2, Season: 33-38-2

Bill Simmons--Last Week: 6-6-2, Season: 37-34-3

Sports Gal--Last Week: 6-6-2 Season: 37-34-3

Let's Do Some Lines (Week 6)

2008-10-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

Each week, Eddie Utah (“EU”) tries to predict the Vegas lines for each NFL game upcoming that week. It’s an honor system—I make my predictions before looking at the official lines. One of my favorite columnists, Bill Simmons (“BS”), does the same thing (and yes, in fact, I borrowed the idea from him). Bill even goes so far as to make a podcast about the lines with his friend Cousin Sal ("CS," who recently won an Emmy for his part in helping Sarah Silverman write that special song for ex-boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel). Bill and Sal have a contest on the podcast each week to see whose line predictions come closer to the actual Vegas line for each game. In week 2 of the 2008 NFL season, I decided to give it a try and find out if I could do any better than Bill and Cousin Sal.

So far, the answer is a definitive no. Here are the season standings after week 5: CS 30, BS 28, EU 15. On to week 6…

St. Louis at Washington
Is this the let-down game for the ‘skins? Nooooo…..
CS: WAS -13, BS: WAS -15, EU: WAS -11.5, Actual: WAS -13.5
Score: CS 1, BS 0, EU 0

Chicago at Atlanta
After Atlanta’s big win last week, this becomes a good game all of a sudden.
CS: Chi -3, BS: ATL -2.5, EU: ATL -3, Actual: chi -1
Score: CS 2, BS 0, EU 0

Cincinnati at N.Y. Jets
Do the Bengals go back to playing awful against a mediocre Jets team?
CS: JETS -6, BS: JETS -8.5, EU: JETS -6, Actual: JETS -6.5
Score: CS 3, BS 0, EU 1

Oakland at New Orleans
And the Saints have the formula to beat most teams (including the Raiders)—i.e., don’t turn the ball over five times.
CS: NO -9, BS: NO -7.5, EU: NO -9, Actual: NO -7.5
Score: CS 3, BS 1, EU 1

Detroit at Minnesota
After Monday night, Minnesota has the perfect formula for beating Detroit—just wait for them to turn the ball over five times.
CS: MIN -10, BS: MIN -9.5, EU: MIN -8.5, Actual: MIN -13.5
Score: CS 4, BS 1, EU 1

Baltimore at Indianapolis
The Colts won’t be so lucky this week.
CS: IND -7, BS: IND -3.5, EU: bal -2, Actual: IND -4.5
Score: CS 4, BS 2, EU 1

Carolina at Tampa Bay
Flip a coin (or a penalty flag) for this one. I see it coming down to one play or one call, sort of like the Ravens-Titans game last week.
CS: TB -1.5, BS: car -1, EU: TB -1, Actual: TB -1
Score: CS 4, BS 2, EU 2

Miami at Houston
Will the Texans be ready for the Wildcat? Miami has beat the two participants of last year’s AFC championship…but can they beat the 0-4 Texans?
CS: HOU -3.5, BS: pick, EU: HOU -3, Actual: HOU -3
Score: CS 4, BS 2, EU 3

Jacksonville at Denver
I think Jacksonville is close to putting it all together for a full game. Can they do it in Denver?
CS: ?, BS: DEN -3.5, EU: DEN -4.5, Actual: DEN -3.5
Score: CS 4, BS 3, EU 3

Philadelphia at San Francisco
Three Zone Bunk alert! It didn’t stop the Patriots from beating the 49ers. Will it stop the Eagles?
CS: phi -3, BS: phi -4, EU: SF -3, Actual: phi -6
Score: CS 4, BS 4, EU 3

Dallas at Arizona
Over/under on percentage of Cowboys fans = 40. Over/under on points scored = 50. (Actual over/under is 50. Look at me.)
CS: dal -7, BS: dal -4.5 , EU: dal -3, Actual: dal -5
Score: CS 4, BS 5, EU 3

Green Bay at Seattle
Hey Seahawks: In case you’re wondering, yes the preseason’s over.
CS: SEA -4.5, BS: SEA -1.5 , EU: gb -3, Actual: SEA -3
Score: CS 5, BS 6, EU 3

New England at San Diego
The Patriots are spending the week on the West Coast. Apparently they didn’t pay attention to what happened to the Cardinals two weeks ago. Six touchdown passes for Philip Rivers?
CS: SD -5, BS: SD -3, EU: SD -3, Actual: SD -5
Score: CS 6, BS 6, EU 3

N.Y. Giants at Cleveland
I agree with Sal—it stinks that Eli Manning is good.
CS: gia -8, BS: gia -7.5, EU: gia -7.5, Actual: gia -9
Score: CS 7, BS 6, EU 3

Season Standings: CS 37, BS 34, EU 18

Eddie Utah Superpicks (home team in CAPS): ATL +1 over chi, det +13.5 over MIN, and bal +4.5 over IND (11-3-1 on the season)

Eddie Utah Tuesday Edition

2008-10-07T00:31:00.000-07:00

Eddie Was Right…
…that the Lions are still incompetent and will remain so for the foreseeable future. Mediocre Accuracy by Kitna + dropped passes + ineffective running game = 31-0 halfway through the third quarter.
…about my Superpicks (again). If not for Sage Rosenfels, my picks would have been undefeated. Instead, they went 3-1-1. (11-3-1 on the season)
…to assume the Chiefs couldn’t win two weeks in a row. Larry Johnson followed up a 198-yard effort last week with a whopping two (2!) yards on seven carries. On the bright side, he’s averaging an even 100 yards over the last two weeks.
…to rank the Titans as one of the top contenders in the league. Even though they held the ball for less time and had fewer yards than the Ravens, they gained yards and turned them into points when it mattered most. A key characteristic of a quality team is pulling out a clutch win in an ugly—21 combines penalties for 169 yards—game.

Eddie Was Wrong…
…about the Falcons being overvalued. After a quality win in the home stadium of a legitimate opponent, they definitely earned some respect.
…to assume the Redskins would be in major letdown mode after their big win last week in Dallas. Jim Zorn is working magic on that whole team, not just the quarterbacks.

…to think (or hope) that Seattle could compete with the World Champions. The Seahawks defense, which is largely unchanged from their highly ranked unit of a year ago, looks more like a mid-‘90s Seahawk defense. Koren Robinson wasn’t even active, yet the wide receivers still dropped the ball just as well as K-Rob and crew did circa 2004.
…to assume the Bengals would lay down in Big D. They’ve played their two best games against quality opponents (Giants and Cowboys).
…to doubt the Dolphins single-wing juggernaut. Respect the Wildcat!

Conversation Probably Heard in the Cowboys Locker Room
T.O.: Yo, Tony, what’s up with throwin’ it to Witten on that second quarter touchdown play? I was open man!
Romo: Uhhh…I don’t know Terrell. There were three guys on you. I just don’t trust my accuracy THAT much.
T.O.: What?! Trust your accuracy?! You don’t need to trust that, just trust me. I’ll make the play!
Romo: I know, it’s just that…
T.O.: Just what?
Romo: Witten was so wide-open, he had time to jump up and down and waive his arms for a full three seconds. He even took off a shoe and threw it at me.
T.O.: Oh, and you’re afraid of a shoe? Throw it to him again in the red-zone and see what I throw at you!
Romo [sobbing]: Terrell, I’m s-s-sorry.
T.O.: You know this means Jessica’s staying at my house tonight, right?Romo [sniffling]: Yeah…I know…

“Throw Me in the Mosh-Pit” Goat of the Week
On four successive plays with 3:54 left in the game and a 10-point lead, Sage Rosenfels had two fumbles that resulted in 14 Colts points.

Impressive Power Play
With 12:00 left in third quarter, Karlos Dansby made a huge hit on Marshaun Lynch that stopped him for a loss. The Bills did not pick up another first down on the drive and settled for a field goal. This hit definitively set the tone for the rest of the game and gave the momentum permanently to Arizona, after both teams had been battling to establish physical dominance at the start of the second half.

Eddie’s Observations
Roddy White is lighting it up and Matt Ryan is looking his way on just about every passing play. If he’s available in your fantasy league, grab him.
At least they did this right: With 1:20 left in the third quarter and the Seahawks down 37-6, Coach Holmgren put Seneca Wallace into the game at quarterback and sat Matt Hasselbeck safely on the bench.
Aaron Rodgers has really been paying attention these last few years. On Sunday, he (1) played hurt, (2) threw deep to a guy in double-coverage for a touchdown, and (3) looked tough and accurate on a fourth quarter, 80-yard touchdown drive.
I was skeptical at first, but Michael Turner looks like the real deal. I love the way he pushed the pile and picked up first downs to run out the clock late in the fourth quarter.
Cedric Benson actually looked respectable.
Terrell Owens showed some serious speed and hustle in racing forty yards to the end zone after a 17-yard catch.
Raise your hand if you thought the Redskins were going to win after the Eagles went ahead 14-0 with 7:47 left in the first quarter. (Thank you Coach Zorn and the rest of the Redskin team—you can put your hands down now.)
Hog Hunting: With 7:18 left in the fourth quarter, the Redskins ran the ball on eight out of ten plays and then knelt on it to run out the clock.
If Matt Schaub was so sick, then why was he suited up and active for the game. There’s got to be something more to this story.
Rodney Harrison, with 1:30 left in the fourth quarter, knocked the ball out of Arnaz Battle’s hands on a throw that would have been a first down and kept San Francisco alive to cover the point spread. That had to be the first time I ever cheered for Harrison.
Babe Ruth Moment: With 0:41 left in the second quarter, Ronnie Brown smiled and waived to the defense with a “come and get me” gesture. They didn’t. He ran in the direct snap for a five-yard touchdown.
I love the way Miami is using their two running backs—both a threat on most plays.
I’m not sure that anything makes me happier than to see Ben Roethlisberger get sacked and throw an INTD on successive plays. Seeing Hines Ward’s pouty face is right up there too. And I loved the montage of Rashean Mathis interceptions off of Roethlisberger. Tonight’s INT was his fifth in three years off of “Ben.” At least two of them were INTDs.
Gus Frerotte looks like he’s still the nerdy but athletic high-schooler who isn’t quite comfortable with all the attention of being the starting quarterback. In spite of the Vikings win on Monday night, I don’t trust this guy with a playoff game on the line. (But he’s definitely a better option than the inaccurate Tavaris Jackson.)
Ed Hochuli isn’t quite as buff as he used to be back in my high-school days…but then again, neither am I…
Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good. With 7:10 left in the fourth quarter, Viking wide-receivers Bernard Berrian and Aundrae Allison both mistakenly ran post routes (I’m assuming it wasn’t by design, as suggested by Ron Jaworski). Berrian still somehow came down with the ball for a touchdown.

Eddie Wonders…
…What’s with all the Dolphin defenders pretending to kick field goals after they make a tackle for a loss?
…if you knew the halftime yardage of the Chargers-Dolphins game would be 220-91, would you guess correctly which team had the most yards?
…why there were so many empty seats in Miami?
…why we always have to see some sort of food preparation on Madden broadcasts?

Isn’t that Special?
Shaun Suisham and Neil Rackers both made field goals that doinked off one of the uprights.
Two Matts in the Tampa at Denver game combined for five field goals and 23 fantasy points.
With 14:01 left in the fourth quarter, down one point to Dallas, Shane Graham did a great job in selling the deep kick and then showing some toughness as he took a shot trying to recover the onside kick.
With 1:54 left in the third quarter, Jo-Lonn Dunbar experienced the absolute best feeling in football when he blindsided Erin Henderson and sprung Reggie Bush for the first of two punt-return touchdowns.
Monday Night’s game was the first game in NFL history with a blocked field-goal returned for a touchdown, a touchdown pass by a non-quarterback, two punt return touchdowns, and two 50+ yard field-goals.

Crazy Stats
Kyle Orton’s last two games: 42/68 533 yards, 5 TDs, 2 INTs. Yeah, ok, so one game was against Detroit, but still…
Total combined first quarter yards by the Chief and Lions on Sunday: -4.
First Half Time of Possession: Panthers: 21:00, Chiefs: 9:00.
New England won for the first time ever at San Francisco on Sunday.
Big Easy Turnover: The Saints had four turnovers, not including the field-goal that was blocked and returned for a touchdown, yet still could have won the game had Martin Gramatica made the 46-yard field goal with two minutes remaining.

Announcement of the Week
Chris Myers has a catchy field-goal call: “It’s up there. It’s out there. It’s good!”

Email to Michael Silver
Since Mr. Silver likes to correct the spelling and grammar of his readers’ emails, I thought this question was appropriate for him. He printed a past email of mine in his column, so perhaps he’ll find it appropriate to post this one too:

To Your Highness King of Grammar:

Can you please explain to me the following phrases used by Al Michaels during the Sunday Night Football broadcast?

“They had a long drive, did Pittsburgh”
“They had the ball, did the Steelers”
“He was down, was Garrard”

How are any of those phrases grammatically correct? Are they even sentences? And more importantly, do they make any sense to you? In each situation, the context of the play made identification of the pronoun obvious and without need of any clarification. I understand that a live broadcast will oftentimes not follow the formal rules of written grammar, since live description and analysis of a game should be conversational in tone without the majority of grammatical restrictions. But why ignore the rules of grammar to say something that (1) makes little sense, (2) you would never say in normal conversation, and (3) sounds ridiculous? What can we do to get Michaels, and other announcers, to stop this practice immediately?

Eddie Wants to Read TMQ’s Take On…
…why the Jaguars lost in spite of the professionalism of their cheerleaders. I believe they changed their outfits to even skimpier (i.e., more professional) in the second half.

Three Zone "Bunk"

2008-10-05T21:35:00.001-07:00

Mike Holmgren was a little irritated with the three time-zone excuse that comes up every time the Seahawks play on the East Coast: “it’s mentioned every time we go to the East Coast if we lose the football game,” Holmgren said. “The simple fact is, it has not a single thing to do with sleep levels or anything. Nothing. Anybody that gets too concerned with your biorhythms and the seat on the airplane and all that stuff, it’s a bunch of bunk.

“You lose a football game for the same reason you lose a football game at home, on the road, a two-hour time change, when we go to Arizona, San Francisco—you lose because you played lousy. You fumbled the ball, and you threw interceptions, and you missed tackles. Period. I don’t want to hear it.”

Well, Coach Holmgren might be interest to know that five teams (Seahawks, Bills, Patriots, Buccaneers, and Chargers) traveled across 2 or more time zones on Sunday…and four of them lost. Only the Patriots, playing in San Francisco, came away with a victory.

EU Quarterly Report

2008-10-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

With the closing of the NFL’s 2008 first quarter, I present to you an audited report of the league and a ranking of all 32 teams.

Begging for a Bailout
32. Cincinnatti Bengals 0-4
31. St. Louis Rams 0-4
30. Detroit Lions 0-3

These teams have serious ownership problems. Mike Brown of the Bengals is unwilling to make the necessary investment in his team and has engaged in some serious double-speak when it comes to the organization’s attitude toward the troubling off-field behavior of its players. The new Rams owners are feeling their way and the team may still end up back in L.A. The Ford family is finally on the right track after firing Matt Millen, but how long will it take to correct years of incompetence?

Underperforming
29. Oakland Raiders 1-3
28. Kansas City Chiefs 1-3
27. Houston Texans 0-3
26. Miami Dolphins 1-2
25. Cleveland Browns 1-3
24. Minnesota Vikings 1-3

These teams all have potential, especially the Vikings, with their strong defense and running game. They, especially, have no excuse for their poor play. The Texans may be the best of this group and have shown the most improvement, notwithstanding their 0-3 record.

Overvalued
23. Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons’ two wins were against Detroit and Kansas City. The organization is improved from last year and appears to be on the upswing, but I don’t expect them to finish the season above .500.

Trying to Turn the Corner
22. Indianapolis Colts 1-2
21. Seattle Seahawks 1-2
20. Arizona Cardinals 2-2
19. San Francisco 49ers 2-2

Is the Colts’ reign as an elite team over? Can the Seahawks turn this 0-2 start into another Super Bowl appearance? Will the Cardinals fade as the season progresses (and tradition dictates)? Can Mike Martz turn J.T. O’Sullivan into Marc Bulger, or even Jon Kitna?

Risky Propositions
18. New England Patriots 2-1
17. New York Jets 2-2
16. Baltimore Ravens 2-1
15. Green Bay Packers 2-2
14. Chicago Bears 2-2
13. Denver Broncos 3-1

The Pats, Ravens, Packers and Bears all have questions at quarterback while the Jets and Broncos have serious defensive issues. Can Matt Cassel lead the Patriots to the playoffs? Can the rookie Joe Flacco keep playing like a seasoned veteran? Can Aaron Rodgers stay healthy? Will Kyle Orton throw three touchdown passes every week? Will the Jets and Broncos give up 35 and 33 points every week?

Strong Buys
12. Jacksonville Jaguars 2-2
11. New Orleans Saints 2-2
10. San Diego Chargers 2-2
9. Philadelphia Eagles 2-2
8. Pittsburgh Steelers 3-1
7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 3-1
6. Washington Redskins 3-1

The potential of each of these teams offsets the question marks that could doom their season. If the Jaguars can get their offensive line to gel, they could be a very balanced team. The Saints have an explosive offense and their defense isn’t quite as bad as the Broncos.

Large Cap Contenders
5. Dallas Cowboys 3-1
4. Carolina Panthers 3-1
3. Tennessee Titans 4-0
2. Buffalo Bills 4-0
1. New York Giants 3-0

Each of these teams has the two things generally necessary to win a Super Bowl: a good quarterback and a strong defense. Trent Edwards and Tony Romo still have a lot to prove—namely, winning a playoff game—but the potential for greatness is there. Kerry Collins may not be a great quarterback, but he has been to a Super Bowl. Plus, with the strength of the Tennessee defense, this team, like the 2000 Baltimore Ravens, could one of the exceptions to the general rule.

Week 5 Picks (Home Team in CAPS): TEXANS +3 over Colts, Titans -3 over RAVENS, Chargers -6.5 over DOLPHINS, PANTHERS -9.5 over Chiefs, EAGLES -6 over Redskins, Bears -3.5 over LIONS, PACKERS -3.5 over Falcons, Seahawks +7 over GIANTS, BRONCOS -3 over Buccaneers, Patriots -3 over 49ERS, CARDINALS -1.5 over Bills, COWBOYS -16 over Bengals, Steelers +4.5 over JAGUARS, SAINTS -3 over Vikings (Last week: 7-6, Season 28-31)

Eddie IN THE MONEY Superpicks: Bears -3.5 over LIONS, TEXANS +3 over Colts, CARDINALS -1.5 over Bills, Titans -3 over RAVENS, and Patriots -3 over 49ERS (Last week: 3-1, Season, 8-2)

Bill Simmons: Last Week: 8-5, Season: 31-28-1
Sports Gal: Last Week: 6-7, Season: 30-29-1

Who are you and what have you done with Brian Johnson?

2008-10-02T23:01:00.001-07:00

I am not a Utah Ute fan and, in fact, this season I have only watched one other Utah football game before tonight. So keep in mind that the theory of this column is based solely on my observations of tonight’s game.

Utah quarterback Brian Johnson was horrific. In the first half, he completed only 5 of 11 passes for 80 yards. One of his 6 incompletions went straight to Al Afalava who returned it 26 yards for a Beaver touchdown. Yeah, he threw a touchdown, but Freddie Brown was so wide open he wasn’t even moving. Seriously—he was just standing there when he caught the ball. My sister could have thrown that pass.

The second half was even worse. Again, he completed 5 of 11 passes but only for 30 yards this time. And he turned the ball over in Beaver territory once again, which led to another Oregon State touchdown. Pathetic. I was rooting for the home team but quickly losing hope. The team looked ok, but the quarterback was inaccurate, hesitant to throw to open receivers, and unable to hold on to the football. No way could this guy lead his team back from eight down, late in the fourth quarter.

And he didn’t. With 2:11 remaining in the game and Utah down 28-20, Brian Johnson was abducted by aliens and replaced by a quarterback who was decisive, accurate and clutch. I see no other explanation. This guy completed four straight passes for 60 yards and a touchdown that brought the Utes to within two points. He (or perhaps it) followed that up by running for the two-point conversion that tied the game. After an Oregon State punt, the Utes got the ball back and this Brian Johnson look-alike completed 3 of 4 passes for 32 yards to put the offense within Louie Sakoda’s field goal range.

After the game, Sakoda was hailed as the game’s hero for kicking the winning field goal. Number 3 was nowhere to be found. I find it curious that whoever or whatever was wearing number 3 for the last 2:11 of the game made sure to avoid the cameras and any interview requests. This mysterious clutch quarterback has vanished for the time being. For Utah’s sake, let’s hope he reappears when need next arises.

Week 5 Lines

2008-10-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

It took me three weeks to beat Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal in my weekly effort to predict the lines for the week’s upcoming NFL games. Can I make it two weeks in a row? Here's the season standings: CS 24, BS 23, EU 12.

Chiefs at PANTHERS
Nice work last week L.J. Unfortunately for you and the Chiefs offense, the Panthers defense is a little better than the Broncos.
BS: CAR -10.5 CS: CAR -9 EU: CAR -7.5 Actual: CAR -10
Score: BS 1, CS 0, EU 0

Chargers at DOLPHINS

Will the Chargers be ready for the single wing, or will they have L.T. show Ronnie Brown how it’s really done?
BS: SD -9 CS: SD -8.5 EU: SD -8.5 Actual: SD -7
Score: BS 1, CS 1, EU 1

Bears at LIONS
The absence of Matt Millen has to be worth at least 3 points, right?
BS: Chi -6 CS: Chi -2 EU: Chi -10.5 Actual: Chi -3.5
Score: BS 1, CS 2, EU 1

Seahawks at GIANTS
Giants, minus one receiver; Seahawks, plus two equals Seahawks win? Pretty please….
BS: NY -7.5 CS: NY -6 EU: NY -6 Actual: NY -7
Score: BS 2, CS 2, EU 1

Ok guys, now remember--catch the ball with your hands...

Falcons at PACKERS

The Packers success could hinge on the health of Rodgers’ shoulder.

BS: GB -8 CS: GB -8 EU: GB -4.5 Actual: OFF

Score: BS 2, CS 2, EU 1

Redskins at EAGLES
Letdown alert! Letdown alert! With the Eagles upset about their loss on Sunday night and the Redskins a little complacent after their big win in Dallas, guess who wins this game?

BS: PHI -4.5 CS: PHI -6.5 EU: PHI -2.5 Actual: PHI -5.5

Score: BS 3, CS 3, EU 1

Titans at RAVENS
I like that rookie quarterback…but the Titans defense is too strong.

BS: Ten -3.5 CS: Ten -3 EU: Ten -2 Actual: Ten -3

Score: BS 3, CS 4, EU 1

Colts at TEXANS

Will the Texans finally break through with a win, or will the Colts finally start playing like the old Colts?

BS: Ind -3 CS: Ind -7 EU: TEX -2.5 Actual: Ind -3

Score: BS 4, CS 4, EU 1

Bucs at BRONCOS

The Broncos offense will have a tough time with the Bucs defense. And the Bucs will wish they could play the Broncos defense every week. The only question is who will look like the all-pro—Brian Griese or Earnest Graham?

BS: DEN -4 CS: DEN -7 EU: DEN -3 Actual: DEN -3

Score: BS 4, CS 4, EU 2

Patriots at FORTY-NINERS
Will the Patriots try to win the game or just try to steal one or two of the 49ers players?

BS: NE -6 CS: NE -4 EU: Pick’em Actual: NE -3

Score: BS 4, CS 5, EU 2

Bengals at COWBOYS
As if the Cowboys aren’t upset enough without Chaz Cinco razzing them. If I’m the Bengals, I’m not looking forward to this game.

BS: DAL-14 CS: DAL -15.5 EU: DAL -14.5 Actual: OFF

Score: BS 4, CS 5, EU 2

Bills at CARDINALS

The Cardinals are happy to spend this week in Arizona and the Bills won’t be able to come back this time against Kurt Warner and the gang.

BS: Buf -1.5 CS: AZ -3 EU: AZ -2 Actual: AZ -1

Score: BS 4, CS 5, EU 3

Warner will need to spend more time on his feet to beat the Bills.

Steelers at JAGUARS
That Ben Roethlisberger is one slippery dude. In spite of last week’s close win, the Steelers have playoff vengeance on their minds this week. Look out Jags.
BS: JAX -5 CS: JAX -5.5 EU: JAX -1.5 Actual: JAX -4
Score: BS 5, CS 5, EU 3

Vikings at SAINTS
Why are the Vikings so bad? Their defense is pretty good. Their offensive line is great and their running back’s an all-pro. Is a quarterback really that important? Or is the coaching really that bad?
BS: NO –3 CS: NO - EU: NO -6.5 Actual: NO -3
Score: BS 5, CS 6, EU 3
Season Standings after week 5: CS 30, BS 28, EU 15

CS Teaser: SD (even) over MIA and JAX +3 over Pit
BS Parlay: NE (Money Line) over SF and HOU (Money Line) over Ind

Eddie IN THE MONEY Superpicks: Chi-3.5 over DET, HOU +3 over Ind, AZ -1 over Buf, Ten -3 over BAL, and NE -3 over SF (Last week: 3-1, Season, 8-2)

First Ever Mailbag!

2008-10-01T23:29:00.001-07:00

Today Eddie Utah received his first ever email. So to celebrate, I'm doing my first ever “mailbag” (which will address the email, of course).

Dear Eddie:

I thought this was a good article (by Nick Eatman) on T.O. and it makes sense to me. I think he wants to be the best ever at his position and wants to win. I really think he wants to catch up to Jerry Rice. What do you think?

Chad (E. H-Town, MT)

Does he want to be the best ever? Sure, why wouldn’t he? And yeah, that means breaking all of Jerry Rice’s records. Does he want to win? Of course. As they mentioned on Sunday Night Football, he may think that getting the ball every play is the best way to help his team win, which justifies his selfish attitude about the number of plays designed for him. This logic is obviously fallacious, since the defense could just cover him with three guys every play if they knew the ball was coming his way. Ask Steve Smith how that worked out for him in the 2005 NFC Championship. Or ask Mike Tice how the “Randy Ratio” worked out for the 2002 Vikings. However, with respect to T.O., I can’t find too much fault with a guy wanting to do all he can to help his team win—even if he thinks he can do more than he really can, given the team dynamics of the game.

The problem with T.O. is that he’s never happy unless his team wins because of him. As Eatman mentioned, last year, after the Cowboys beat Detroit to win the NFC East, Owens walked off the field, unable to break a smile. Eatman speculates it may have had something to do with the fact that T.O. caught just three balls for 21 yards. Terrell had a similar reaction after Dallas’s big win over the Packers this year in Green Bay. His stats? Two catches for 17 yards. Does this sound like the behavior of a guy who primarily wants to win?

A team player who cared only about winning in those situations would be beaming from ear-to-ear and singing the praises of his teammates. Think of Shaun Alexander cheering on his teammates in a 2005 playoff win over Washington that he watched from the sideline. A mature player in T.O.’s predicaments described above would say, “Hey, our team fought hard and got the win. Did you see Miles Austin go off? He had some great catches…” And a mature player would qualify his remarks by saying something like, “But you know what—in spite of the victory, there’s always room for improvement. I didn’t have a great game myself and would have liked to contribute a little more. Fortunately, we still won the game, but I’ll be hitting the film room pretty hard to see how I can improve.” Maybe at 34, T.O.’s just not there yet. Maybe he never will be, but Sunday’s reaction give me reason to think that he’s actually improving, rather than backsliding to his old selfish ways.

Consider his reaction to the loss to Washington on Sunday. When asked if he got the ball enough, he said “no. I’m a competitor, and I want the ball.” That comes off as, they didn’t get me the ball enough. However, I’d like to think what he really meant was, “Tony may have thrown the ball my way enough, but I’m a competitor and I would have liked to have caught more of the balls he threw and made more plays with the balls I did catch.” He later said, “I didn't quit. I kept fighting and trying to run my routes and trying to get open." The old T.O. might have said, “Jeff didn’t throw spirals,” or “Andy's play-calling sucked.” The Cowboy faithful should be encouraged that T.O.’s remarks involved pointing the finger at himself and not at others and that his venting about routes and throws went straight to Tony Romo and not the media. The guy may never be completely understood, but I tend to agree with Eatman, that T.O. may be more of a team-guy now than he ever has been in the past.

Can Owens be the greatest ever? Probably not. He’s got a long way to go before his 899 receptions, 13,334 yards and 133 touchdowns even approach Rice’s 1,549 receptions, 22,895 yards and 207 touchdowns. Even more difficult to reach is Rice’s record of five Super Bowl victories. I’m fairly confident that won’t happen. But if T.O. keeps up this positive trend of less selfishness and wins a Super Bowl in the next few years, he’ll definitely be a Hall of Famer and one of the best ever.

Running Back Gamble

2008-10-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

Your team sucks, you’re 0-4, your quarterback is hurt…and you want to take a chance on a backup running back.

Choice #1 is a 31-year-old former first round pick with nearly 10,000 career yards. Three years ago, he set an NFL touchdown record and was named the league MVP. This offseason, he was released by his old team after two injury-plagued seasons that saw his average-per-carry drop from 5.1 to 3.5. Oh, and he’s an active Christian with a foundation that mentors young men through education, athletics character programs and leadership training.

Choice #2 is a 25-year-old former first round pick with just over 1,500 careers yards. He has never averaged more than 4.1 yards-per-carry in his three years in the league. His former team released him after two alcohol-related arrests (in addition to his obvious ineffectiveness). Both choices present a serious gamble. Is Choice #1 washed up? Or will he be able to regain his old form, if even for just a season? Is three years enough to conclude that Choice #2 is a first-round bust? Or does he just need a change of scenery?

If I was trying to rebuild a franchise and perhaps salvage an 0-4 season, I would definitely go with the high-character veteran. Even if he never regains his old form, he could provide a positive influence in the locker-room and mentor your young starting running back. And who knows, maybe he steps in for a few plays and proves everyone wrong who thinks he always played soft.

But before you decide what you would do, consider this: Your team recently re-signed a player who has been arrested five times since December 2005. Offering a recent arrestee a contract would fit right in with the frequent jokes about your team’s propensity to look the other way when it comes to behavioral issues. So, of course, it should come as no surprise that your team picked Choice #2.

Why would you want to gamble on a few touchdowns from this guy...

When you could have THIS guy?

Eddie Utah Tuesday Edition

2008-09-30T02:14:00.001-07:00

I Was Right
The Falcons' two wins were against the Lions and the Chiefs. Next, they head to Green Bay, host Chicago, then play at Philadelphia. They could easily be staring at 2-5. They scored zero points in the second half against Carolina.
Shaky Camera Technique: With 2:45 left in the second quarter of the Browns at Bengals game, one camera followed the football as Ryan Fitzpatrick’s pass was picked off by Eric Wright, who zig-zagged this way and that, then headed forward at full-speed before fumbling the ball backwards about 7 yards. Note, I probably wouldn’t have picked the Bengals had I known that Carson Palmer would be inactive. Also, it was nice to see Chaz Cinco (nickname courtesy of Bill Simmons) just hand the ball to the official after scoring his first touchdown this year.
The Vikings had more first downs and more yards, but apparently home-field advantage was enough to cause four Viking turnovers, which was the difference in the game.
Things definitely went black for the Raiders in the fourth quarter (in spite of their white uniforms), when they allowed 25 points.
The Cardinals were definitely out of sorts in allowing 6 Brett Favre touchdown passes and dropping the ball all over the field (I’m looking at you Kurt Warner).
The Ravens may have covered thanks to a great first half by Flacco and their offense. But Roethlisberger’s slippery effectiveness in the second half prevented them from winning the game. Also playing a role was John Harbaugh’s decision not to challenge Flacco’s throw to Derrick Mason in the end-zone in the first half that was ruled an incompletion. It looked to me like he had the ball secured with two feet dragging. Where do I apply to be the Challenge Trigger Man for some of these NFL teams? (I’m looking at you Mike Holmgren and Brother Reid.)

I Was Wrong
The Broncos defense is bad. If the offense isn’t droppin’ forty points, they will struggle.
The Texans played a very good game, winning the time-of-possession battle and gaining more yards and first downs than the Jaguars. David Garrard was back to being efficient and this game was essentially decided on a coin-toss.
Trent Green escaped Week 4 without a concussion and the Rams actually looked like a real NFL team for three quarters. Of course, just when Rams fans were getting hopeful, Green threw a INTD to Jabari Green. (INTD is my new abbreviation/acronym for an interception returned for a touchdown—see note to Bill Simmons below.)
I was wrong to mention that Aaron Rodgers had yet to throw an interception this year. Naturally, he threw three against Tampa on Sunday. Several turnovers by Tampa kept the Packers in the game even though the Bucs dominated the Packers rush defense.
The Saints defense may have allowed 312 yards on the day, but they were tough when it counted, picking off two O’Sullivan passes in their own end-zone. Great efficiency in the red-zone J.T.
I thought the Cowboys would just be too good for the Redskins. Bill Simmons had his doubts about Jim Zorn. (See note below.) Of course we were both wrong. This was probably the cleanest (Washington had zero turnovers), toughest game of the week and the Redskins grinded out a win in Big D.
I was wrong about the Eagles, in large part due to a coaching mistake by Andy Reid. That “beautiful picture” Madden kept slobbering over like the Faith Hill pregame intro was indeed beautiful, but not in the way he meant. To me, the overhead shot clearly showed the ball crossing the plane of the goal line on the fourth down play near the end of the fourth quarter. Andy Reid should have challenged.

Email to Bill Simmons
Dear Bill:

A couple of things. First, we've added the following to our list of things you've been wrong about: Jim Zorn. Tell Cousin Sal to suck it. Second, I really don't mind the "pick-six" all that much. And while the TINT isn't bad, I just came up with my own new acronym: I-N-TD! [in my best Gus Johnson voice]

Yours truly,
Eddie Utah
(http://eddieutah.blogspot.com/)

Email to Peter King
Peter King: "6. I think if I had a spare spot on my fantasy team, I'd claim Ryan Torain, injured rookie Denver running back. Just do it. You'll thank me when you win your league."

Peter, you are a fantasy idiot. Denver hasn't had a solid fantasy RB since Portis.

Plus, (1) I’ve never heard of Ryan Torain, (2) he’s INJURED, (3) Mike Shanahan likes using about 8 running backs, and (4) there’s this little secret about Fantasy Football that I think I realized about two years too late. The secret? The majority of NFL teams splitting carries amongst at least two running backs significantly decreases their value. While I haven’t done any hard analysis to support this yet, wide-receivers seem to be the most valuable position nowadays.

Good Play-Calling 101
With 2:43 left in the first quarter, Cleveland lined up for a 56-yard field-goal. But it was a fake! Not a fake trying to get a first down, but a fake field-goal punt, which, with no one back to return the punt, was downed at the seven-yard-line.
Facing a fourth and one from the Cardinals 40-yard-line, Eric Mangini dials up a deep ball instead of the unpredictable run up the middle. Later, with 2:00 remaining and the Jets up 48-35 facing a fourth and five from the Arizona 24-yard-line, the Jets dial up an aggressive touchdown pass to keep the heat on, even though they held a two-score lead.
With 7:03 left in the second quarter, Washington had a first and goal from the eight-yard-line with the score tied at seven. After two Clinton Portis runs, rather than beat their collective heads into the wall, Jim Zorn calls a pass on third down which results in a Campbell to Randle El touchdown.

Bad Play-Calling 101
With 6:50 left in the First Quarter of the Broncos at Chiefs game, the Chiefs had a first and 10 from the Broncos 12. They gained eight yards on a Larry Johnson run. Then, predictably, they run two more plays to Johnson, the Broncos stop them and the Chiefs settle for a field goal.
Bad Personnel decision #1—down 21 points with 0:32 left in the fourth quarter, the Cardinals still have their starters in the game when and Anquan Boldin’s head gets sandwiched between two defenders running at full-speed, and he then flops to the ground unconscious. Bad Personnel decision #2—on the very next play, Warner throws to their other Pro-Bowl receiver, Larry Fitzgerald. Both Warner and Fitzgerald are inexplicably still in the game, which for all intents and purposes, has been over for several minutes.
With 10:00 left in the fourth quarter, with a first and goal from the Ravens four-yard-line, Mike Tomlin called three straight rushes. Result: field goal.
With 1:40 remaining in the fourth quarter, Baltimore decided to play for overtime on the road, even though they had plenty of time to drive down the field and get in position for a winning field-goal. As TMQ would say, the football gods disapproved and the Ravens lost in overtime.

Impressive Power Plays
With 4:05 left in the first quarter of the Vikings at Titans game, a great block by fullback Ahmard Hall lets Chris Johnson walk in the endzone. His offensive line is opening up holes and he is hitting them quickly.
With 8:15 left in the second quarter of the Broncos at Chiefs game, Denver Fullback Spencer Larsen tackled Dantrell Savage with the loudest, most vicious hit of the weekend.
With 7:29 left in the third quarter, immediately following a Jay Cutler interception, Champ Bailey stays low on a tackle of Larry Johnson and follows-through, finishing the tackle, up-ending Johnson and causing a fumble.
With 4:02 left in the fourth quarter, Le’Ron McClain overpowered Lawrence Timmons, who initially hit him at the three-yard-line, for a game-tying touchdown.

Sweet Picks
With 7:37 left in the third quarter, Derrick Johnson made like Tony Gonzalez and snagged a Jay Cutler pass with his hands—leaning, reaching, and fully-extended.
Two plays later, after Champ Bailey caused the above-mentioned fumble, Jay Cutler threw another pick, this one to Brandon Carr, who was also fully-extended in mid-air, when he caught the ball with both hands.
With 4:21 left in the first quarter, the 49ers Takeo Spikes made an awesome, leaping, one-handed interception of a Drew Brees pass.

Eddie’s Observations
Justin Gage, Matt Jones, Kevin Walter and Lance Moore all looked impressive to me at wide-receiver this weekend.
Tennessee bottled up Adrian Peterson pretty good.
JaMarcus Russell’s passes looked zippy and accurate, but he held the ball too long on several plays and threw the ball away on a fourth-down-and-five with 1:17 left to go in the game with his team down by three. Why not throw it up for grabs in that situation?
Damon Huard really makes you wonder why the Chiefs started that other guy last week.
Matt Schaub looked clutch in leading his team down the field for about 50 yards for the tying field goal in regulation versus the Jaguars.
In overtime of that same game, Garrard threw the ball to Jones a full two seconds before Jones turned around. Nice samepagedness.
FUMBLE! Both the Browns at Bengals game and the Broncos at Chiefs game featured multiple turnovers in three plays. In the Chief
With 12:38 left in the fourth quarter of the Broncos at Chiefs game, Clifford Russell did what looked like a handspring while returning a kickoff. He sprained his neck on the play, so maybe it was more of a head-spring. He’s hopeful of returning to the field soon.
Tip #16 on How to Get Fired, by Lane Kiffen: Send your kicker out to attempt a 76-yard field goal.
Defensive Halves of the Week: The Raiders held the explosive Chargers offense scoreless in the first half (if only things didn’t go black in the second half) and the Panthers held the Falcons scoreless in the second half (if I could pick, I’d go with the second half).
The Cardinals were inside the ten-yard-line twice in the first quarter and came away with zero points.
The corner covering Laveranues Coles was still laying down about thirty yards upfield when Coles caught his first TD pass with 7:19 left in the second quarter of the Cardinals at Jets game.
I may be going crazy, but I could have sworn that I heard the “Cooooooo” cheer for Chris Cooley in DALLAS?! Or were those “Booooos?”
What the hell is going on with Tony Kornheiser’s hair? Bad comb-over on top, sides shaved, and long in back. A comb-over mullet?
I don’t like Mike Tirico’s stuffy and conclusory tone. He announces first down throws as if he’s analyzing game tape rather than announcing something that’s happening live.
I loved seeing Ben Roethlisberger gets flat-tired with 3:48 remaining in the half.

Isn’t that Special
Onside opportunity of the week: With 2:06 remaining in the fourth quarter, Denver’s Matt Prater kicked a perfect lob into the hands of Spencer Larsen, but Larsen was unable to hold on.
Special Teams Trickery of the Week: With 5:41 left in the third quarter and the Jets leading by a score of 34-15, Neil Rackers pretended to walk back and line up for the kickoff, but abruptly turned around and kicked an onside kick, that the Cardinals recovered.

Lame Officiating
With 13:41 remaining in the second quarter, an excessive celebration penalty was called on Steven Jackson for throwing the ball to fans and then jumping up and taking their pats on the back. Why penalize such a sorry team for one of the few moments they had to celebrate? It’s not like he was grandstanding or anything—he was just giving a little love to the fans.

He Said/She Said
Jim Haslett, after being named Rams interim coach: “This is not really the way you want to become a head coach, at somebody else’s expense,” Haslett said at a news conference to announce the move. “I feel for him and his family.” Wait a second--isn’t that the way all coaches become head coaches (except in the case of an expansion team)? At the expense of somebody else?
Suzy Kolber, quoting Mike Tomlin on the Steeler’s attitude at halftime on Monday night: “I’m not sure I can say this on TV, but he said, ‘we were pissed off.’” Well Suzy, you just said it. And as far as I’m concerned, you can say whatever the heck you want. Her voice could convince me to buy Washington Mutual stock. She is definitely the MVP of my Diane Lane all-star team.
John Madden, describing the buffet prepared by Mama McNabb (which made him much more excited than the Eagles at Bears game): “I had-I had so much food on my plate that the guy had to say, ‘can you move your thumb please?’”

Week 4 picks: 7-6, Season: 28-31
Eddie IN THE MONEY Superpicks: 3-1, Season 8-2

An Eagle Eye View of Week 4

2008-09-28T00:59:00.001-07:00

Since the Seahawks are taking the weekend off, I thought I’d relax a little myself, take in a movie and mix in my review with my week 4 NFL preview. In Eagle Eye, Jerry Shaw (Shia LaBeouf) is guided to Rachel Holloman (Michelle Monaghan) by a mysterious woman named Ariel, who somehow knows his every move and communicates through his cell phone, the cell phone of a stranger who happened to be sitting next to him on the subway, electronic banners and random video screens. Jerry and Rachel are then coerced and threatened into carrying out Ariel’s bidding. The FBI is after Jerry as a suspected terrorist while Rachel’s son is being held hostage (though he doesn’t realize it).

Falcons at PANTHERS
Jerry happens to have an identical twin who was recently killed while serving as a member of a super-secret military operation named….Eagle Eye. The Falcons also have an identical twin that routinely gets killed in the line of duty. This twin reared its ugly head in Week 2 in a blowout loss to Tampa Bay. While the “good” twin exacted a certain measure of revenge in Week 3, “the brother with lead shoes” is no match for the Panthers in Carolina. Pick: PANTHERS -6.5 over Falcons.

Browns at BENGALS
Our friends Jerry and Rachel soon find themselves together in a Porche Cayenne. With the FBI, led by Billy Bob Thornton, in full pursuit, Jerry and Rachel are able to escape thanks to the help of Ariel, who is able to timely turn all of the right stoplights green and manipulate the computer systems of the FBI cars, as well as the navigational system of the Porche. This may sound like an exciting action scene, and while it may have had some potential, the director unfortunately chose to utilize the maddening shaky camera technique. You know, where the big screen is filled with very brief flashes of screeching tires, jarring crashes and shattered glass. And the screen is so big, there’s nowhere to divert your eyes. You just hope it ends before your head starts throbbing and you vomit into the next row. Browns and Bengals fans can definitely relate. Cleveland had an offseason filled with the anticipation of a promising season and a return to the playoffs. Cincinatti’s hopes may not have been as high, but they certainly weren’t looking for an 0-3 start. Luckily for us, we can divert our eyes by changing the channel. Pick: I have no trust in Romeo until he shows me something (like Brady Quinn, maybe?) BENGALS -3.5 over Browns

Vikings at TITANS
Eagle Eye soon finds Billy Bob barking orders and belittling subordinates as he strolls through FBI headquarters. At one point he whines about how his eyes keep getting worse and PDA screens keep getting smaller. A younger colleague offers to change the font size on his handheld. Billy Bob responds, “No, I’m talking about paper—you know, like in olden times?” Thirty-seven year-old Gus Frerotte knows; as does thirty-five year-old Kerry Collins. I think these teams are pretty evenly matched: both had good running games; both have one quarterback who is athletic but inaccurate and another who is more accurate but old; and both have tough defenses. When in doubt, go with the home team. Pick: TITANS -3 over Vikings

Broncos at CHIEFS
As Billy Bob continued to pursue Jerry and Rachel, he became increasingly frustrated with the inability of his agents to corral the suspects. At one point he made a threat that Herm Edwards ought to be making: “You’re going to be demoted to something that requires touching shit with your hands.” While Larry Johnson did have a positive game last week, they still couldn’t keep pace with the Falcons. It will get ugly versus Denver as the Broncos will have a fun time playing against the Chiefs shitty team. Pick: Broncos -10 over CHIEFS

Chargers at RAIDERS
Billy Bob soon figures out that Jerry and Rachel are getting a lot of electronic help. As he questions a security company about their surveillance tapes, he stops them when they get to the part where Jerry and Rachel should appear and says, “don’t tell me—everything magically went black.” Things have definitely been going black for the Raiders but there’s nothing magical about it. Against the Bills, things went black with about eight minutes left in the fourth quarter, when Buffalo went on to score 17 straight points. This week, things will go black a little sooner against a revitalized Chargers team. Pick: Chargers -7.5 over RAIDERS

Texans at JAGS
It turns out that Ariel is using Jerry and Rachel, among other pawns, to steal a special crystal the size of large diamond pendant. These little crystals can blow up an area the size of a football field. Five foot seven Maurice Jones-drew is another small package that can really blow up a football field. Houston and their 27th ranked rush defense could be in for a long day. Pick: JAGS -7 over Texans

Bills at RAMS
Jerry and Rachel eventually figure out who the mysterious Ariel is and also figure out that they need to stop a “POTUS Triple 1,” a threat to the president. With Trent Green starting for the Rams this Sunday, his offensive linemen might as well start yelling “POTUS Triple 1” for their commander-in-chief right now. The line for this game is high. It should be higher. Pick: Bills -8 over RAMS.

Eagle Eye Assessment
Overall a solid movie. Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monaghan both provided some solid acting. And I love Michelle Monaghan’s natural good looks. She was a very believable single mom who didn’t look like she just walked off the set of Dr. 90210. Billy Bob’s character wasn’t much of a stretch—he was essentially being himself—but entertaining nonetheless. The plot didn’t require an inordinate suspension of scientific or logical sense. It won’t win any Oscars, but a fun, entertaining couple of hours. Rating: 7 Stars (out of 10)

The Rest of Week 4

Cardinals at JETS
When I made the Jets one of my Superpicks, I didn’t realize that the Cardinals were spending the whole week on the East coast. So essentially, the Jets, having just returned to New Jersey on Monday night/Tuesday morning, should be experiencing more ill effects of multiple time zone travel than the Arizona team. Add Brett Favre’s injured ankle to that, and the Cardinals suddenly become a more popular pick. However, I’m sticking to my guns here. I still think the Cardinals will be a little out of sorts from more than a week away from their homes, families, wives, girlfriends and regular beds. Pick: JETS -1 over Cardinals

Packers at BUCS
Sixty-seven pass attempts and 400 yards don’t mean a whole lot to me if you also throw three picks, but that fact that Tampa didn’t give up a sack in those 67 attempts is pretty impressive. This game will feature the strong line play of Tampa’s offense versus a motivated Green Bay defense that was torched for 453 yards against Dallas last week. However, the difference will be in the quarterback play of Aaron Rodgers, who has yet to throw an interception this year. Pick: Packers +1 over BUCS

49ers at SAINTS
Both of these offenses are playing very well and cranking out yards and points. And I don’t see the Saints defense putting up much more of a fight than the Detroit defense did last week. I want to pick the 49ers, but after a couple frustrating games versus Denver and Washington, the Saints simply need this game more. And needier teams have a tendency to win more games. Pick: SAINTS -4.5 over 49ers

Redskins at COWBOYS
Washington heads to Dallas after a couple of close home victories. Unless Dallas really lets up after a big win in Green Bay last week, Washington will have trouble keeping this one close. New Orleans and Arizona could end up being good teams and even playoff teams—but they are not the Cowboys. Pick: COWBOYS -11 over Redskins

Eagles at BEARS
It looks like Westbrook won’t be playing for the Eagles, which means a lot more passing for the Bears defense to defend. If they get lit up for 400 yards again, this game will be a blowout thanks to Philly’s defense. Matt Forte and Kyle Orton can look forward to a tough day. If the Bears are able to clamp down on an Eagles offense sans Westbrook, they could keep the game low-scoring and relatively close. Regardless of how the game unfolds, I see Philly prevailing. Pick: Eagles -3 over BEARS

Ravens at STEELERS
The Steelers had a real rough time last week against the Eagles defense. Things don’t get any easier this week with the number one ranked defense coming to town. Add the absence of Willie Parker (Rashard Mendenhall will start in his place) and the hurting Ben Roethlisberger, mix in a well-rested Ravens team, and you have the makings of a second-straight loss for the Steelers. Pick: Ravens +5 over STEELERS

Eddie IN THE MONEY Superpicks: PANTHERS -7 over Falcons, JETS -1 over Cardinals, Broncos -10 over CHIEFS and Bills -8 over RAMS (Last week: 3-0, Season, 5-1)

Week 3 Picks: Bill Simmons: 10-6, Sports Gal: 9-7, Eddie Utah: 7-9
Season Standings: Sports Gal: 24-22-1, Bill Simmons: 23-23-1, Eddie Utah: 21-25

NFL Week 4: B.S.ing the Sports Guy

2008-09-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

Before we hit the week 4 lines, a few quick notes on week 3:

I was Right

about all three of my Eddie IN THE MONEY Superpicks (FALCONS -4 over Chiefs, TITANS -5 over Texans and EAGLES -3 over Steelers)
about the magic that Jim Zorn is working on Jason Campbell
to doubt Jon Kitna and Romeo's Browns

I Was Wrong

to think that Tom Brady's magic had rubbed off sufficiently on Matt Cassell
to believe that the Packers had as much firepower as the Cowboys
to doubt the Seahawks' (or any other team's) ability to rout a pathetic Rams team

Defensive Stat of the Week: After the Panthers scored a touchdown with 9:55 left in the second quarter, the Vikings held them scoreless for the rest of the game.

Some Stupid Questions

How did Jake Delhomme not see the unblocked corner blitz of Antoine Winfield coming from his non-blind side? (Result was a Vikings Touchdown.)
How did the Lions score as much as they did versus the Packers in Week 2?
Is the Jag's running game that good or the Colts defense that bad?
Why was Houshmandzadeh (and his 12 for 146 and a TD) on my bench?
Why aren't more NFL teams rockin' the single-wing?
Could the drama in Oakland be scripted any better?
Will J.T. O’Sullivan stop being so accurate? Provided he gets enough protection and/or doesn’t get too beat-up, Mike Martz + accurate passer = lots of points (not good for a Seahawks fan).

On to Week 4. Last week I made slight improvment in my weekly attempt at predicting the lines better than Bill Simmons or Cousin Sal. Can I keep it up this week? Here's the season standings: BS 19, CS 17, EU 5.

Falcons at PANTHERS
Blowout win, blowout loss, blowout win, blowout ... I see a pattern here for the Falcons.

BS: PANTHERS -8.5 CS: PANTHERS -8.5 EU: PANTHERS -7.5 Actual: PANTHERS -7 Score: BS 0, CS 0, EU 1

Cardinals at JETS
Two east coast games in a row for Arizona won't bode well.

BS: JETS -2.5 CS: JETS -1 EU: JETS -3.5 Actual: JETS -3 Score: BS 1, CS 0, EU 2

Browns at BENGALS

Two winless teams fight for Ohio. Should we invite THE Ohio State University?
BS: BENGALS -3.5 CS: BENGALS -3 EU: BENGALS -3 Actual: BENGALS -3.5 Score: BS 2, CS 0, EU 2

Vikings at TITANS
Two journeymen go at it.

BS: TITANS -5.5 CS: TITANS -1.5 EU: TITANS -2.5 Actual: TITANS -3.5 Score: BS 2, CS 0, EU 3

Packers at BUCS
BS: BUCS -3 CS: BUCS -2 EU: BUCS -1.5 Actual: BUCS -1 Score: BS 2, CS 0, EU 4

49ers at SAINTS
Does the 49ers offense even need the pourous Saints defense to make them look good?

BS: SAINTS -7.5 CS: SAINTS -7.5 EU: SAINTS -4.5 Actual: SAINTS -6.5 Score: BS 3, CS 1, EU 4

Texans at JAGS
BS: JAGS -8 CS: JAGS -8 EU: JAGS -6.5 Actual: JAGS -7.5 Score: BS 4, CS 2, EU 4

Broncos at CHIEFS

BS: Broncos -7.5 CS: Broncos -10 EU: Broncos -10 Actual: Broncos -9.5 Score: BS 4, CS 3, EU 5

Bills at RAMS

Trent Green with a horrible offensive line? Yeah...that sounds like a great idea. Over/under for Green's next concussion is about 1/2 a quarter.
BS: Bills -4.5 CS: Bills -6.5 EU: Bills -13 Actual: Bills -9 Score: BS 4, CS 4, EU 5

Chargers at RAIDERS
Norv will be chuckling all the way back to San Diego.

BS: Chargers -8 CS: Chargers -6 EU: Chargers -6.5 Actual: Chargers -7 Score: BS 4, CS 4, EU 6

Redskins at COWBOYS

Throw the numbers out the window for this rivalry.
BS: COWBOYS -9.5 CS: COWBOYS -10 EU: COWBOYS -9 Actual: COWBOYS -13 Score: BS 4, CS 5, EU 6

Eagles at BEARS

The final score of this one should resemble a baseball game.
BS: Pick 'em CS: Pick 'em EU: Eagles -2 Actual: Eagles -3 Score: BS 4, CS 5, EU 7

Ravens at STEELERS

BS: STEELERS -3.5 CS: STEELERS -7.5 EU: STEELERS -6 Actual: STEELERS -7.5 Score: BS 4, CS 6, EU 7

WINNER-WINNER! Taste it Bill Simmons!

Eddie IN THE MONEY Superpicks: PANTHERS -7 over Falcons, JETS -3 over Cardinals, Broncos -9.5 over CHIEFS and Bills -9 over RAMS (Last week: 3-0, Season, 5-1)

Why So Belligerent?

2008-09-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

I attended three different football games this weekend, at three different levels of competition--high school, college and pro. Interestingly, the high school game provided the most drama on the field, while the college and pro games provided the most drama in the stands. Arizona at UCLA was a yawner--literally. I yawned...and then I dozed, as UCLA never seriously threatened.

Refreshed after a Rose Bowl Nap

The nearby fans, however, made a few entertaining, if not serious, threats. In a successful display of obnoxiousness, an illegally inebriated UCLA fan accused an Arizona fan of being "drunk," "throwin' out bad words," and "beatin' up kids." I was amused by the creativity of the last accusation. Security, however, was not amused, and this fan's game ended a little early.

Subtract a couple Brett Favre interceptions and a failed 3rd quarter fourth-down conversion and the Jets-Chargers game may have ended a little more dramatically (even though bettors who had the Chargers +8 or over 45.5 were perfectly happy with the dull, high-scoring game). The real action was in the stands, where a couple of hoodlum Charger fans, one of which thought it clever to wear an Aaron Rodgers jersey, did their best to annoy Jets and Chargers fans alike. Drunken chants of "Favre sucks!" were mixed with senseless and illogical taunts towards Jets fans.

Behind the hoodlums sat a big bald man who sported large arms and several tatoos. He took issue with the hoodlums' antics when they started pointing at his son. He cocked his fist and threatened the hoodlums with several fake half-punches. Unfortunately for the surrounding fans, and inspite of cheers to the contrary, he never made good on such threats, perhaps for the benefit of his son's remaining time at Monday Night Football. Things finally calmed down after a Qualcomm Stadium employee threatened the three with ejection. Sadly, with less than two minutes left in the game, "things" on the field had calmed down much earlier.

These two upstanding fans politely ignored the ridicule from Chargers fans.

High School Choke Job

2008-09-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

After attending a high school football game two weeks ago, I came up with the following fundamental rule of high school offensive strategy: Offenses, in general, should not throw anything but high percentage passes—nothing over 10 yards—unless the receiver is wide open by 20 yards or more on a blown coverage.

Friday night, 900 miles away, this rule was proved out once again. I arrived at La Canada High School with about 4:30 remaining in the fourth quarter and the Spartans down by three. They soon recovered a fumble in the Glendale Dyanmiters’ territory. They slowly made their way towards the end zone as I made my way towards the press box. When I arrived at the press box, the Spartan offense had arrived at the 4 yard line with a first-and-goal. Obvious strategy here was to run 3 times and score or kick the tying field goal. La Canada was smart enough to run twice before attempting a third down pass play that was fortunately not intercepted. Then, apparently lacking faith in their linebacker/kicker, they went for it on fourth down and scored. I grabbed the mic from Mo$ and announced the score: La Canada 21, Glendale 17.

The time-keeper was impressed with my voice until it became obvious that that voice had clearly jinxed the home squad. With 1:29 left in the game, the Spartans seemed to have a great chance at their first victory of the season. And now, my fundamental rule of high school defensive strategy: Spend 80 percent of your practice time teaching fundamentals. Glendale took the ensuing kickoff to the 50-yard-line on the strength of numerous missed tackles by the Spartans. One play later, with 1:15 left in the game, Glendale called a screen pass. At least five Spartan players stood about five yards downfield from the receiver. All of them touched him, but none of them wrapped up and tackled him. Result: Touchdown Dynamiters. Glendale 24, La Canada 21.

Even though the situation seemed bleak, the Spartans still managed to return the kickoff to the 40-yard line. A couple well executed short slants and/or screens and a few lucky runs and there’s an outside chance to tie the game on a field goal. Instead, coach calls a 20-yard Hail Mary which falls straight into the hands of the Dynamiters middle linebacker for a pick-6. Glendale 29, La Canada 21.

As the players walked off the field, the respective bands of each team provided one additional rule of high school football: Bad fight songs lose games. The Glendale fight song was a peppy, upbeat song that closely resembled the fight song of the Helena High mighty Bengals. The La Canada song was a slow, sleepy excuse for any sort of fight. It more appropriately would have been heard in a funeral procession. Of course, given the result of the game, perhaps that was the idea.

The HHS Bengals, averaging 279 rushing

yards per game, clearly understand the

fundamental rule of high school offensive strategy.

Itinerary for a Weekend of Football

2008-09-18T23:09:00.000-07:00

I have a tough weekend starting tomorrow. I'll be working hard all weekend. A recruiting golf event tomorrow. High School football tomorrow night. Monday Night Football with Brett Favre on Monday night. And, why yes--I am looking forward to working the weekend for the first time in my life. In anticipation of the arduous weekend ahead, Mo$ has prepared a draft itinerary to keep us on task:

Friday

8:30 pm - Eddie Utah flies into Burbank

9:00 pm - Eddie Utah arrives at the game. While making his way through the bleachers, Eddie Utah feels like a dirty old man at least three time before arriving at the press box.

9:05 pm - Eddie Utah wrestles the mic away from Mo$ and with 3:00 left in the game, La Canada will be losing 35-6 and attempting the XPA until EU yells "HEY" over the mike and ducks under the desk whispering to the scoreboard operator to ask if anyone saw him.

9:30 pm - 12 am - After getting a bite to eat, we attend the church dance with Basketball Coach, Basketball Coach's Little Sister, and anyone else who came to the game. Eddie Utah gets 2 phone numbers and Mo$ gets 0. Mo$ listens in when a girl asks what EU does for a living and compares it to Moke's performance from visits past.

12:30 am - Eddie Utah and Mo$ get ready for bed. EU has brought his own towel and Mo$ has only limited him to 1 roll of TP for the entire trip. Mo$ is banished to sleeping on the floor

Saturday

7:00 am - If Mo$ is feeling it, he goes on a 12 mile run

10:30 am - Go to Lucky Boy and get breakfast burritos

10:45-11:30 - Pick up a friend and some girl Eddie Utah picks up at the church dance to go to the Arizona/UCLA football game at the Rose Bowl.

12:45 pm - The friends we go with are already sick of us and begin checking their watches.

3:00 pm - Tour of Avery Dennison Campus. Eddie Utah is amazed at how big the fish are.

3:30 -6:00 pm - Personal/Meditation time

6:00 pm - Eat Pastrami Sandwiches or go to the fair to watch Jessica Simpson.

8:45 pm - We get kicked out of the concert after Eddie Utah pulls out his "Carefulllll, RoMo has UnderWOOD" sign.

Sunday

9-11 am - Eddie Utah turns on TV and checks his fantasy football team. Mo$ could care less about his team

11-2 pm - Church
3-6 pm - Lifting/Hit golf balls & putting contest

6-9 pm - Watch Sunday Night NFL game or go do something with church people.

Monday

8:00-2:00 pm - Mo$ goes to work.

9:00-1:59 pm - Eddie Utah wakes up and snoops around Mo$'s room looking for anything scandalous. He settles on reading one of Mo$'s Hulk Hogan or Randy Savage books.

2:00-4:00 pm - Drive to San Diego.

4:00 pm - Toss the ball around with Brett Favre in pre-game warmups.

5:00-9:00 pm - Watch the game. Eddie Utah takes notes feverishly. 9:00-11:00 pm - Eddie Utah drives home as Mo$ is sleepy

Tuesday

Mo$ takes Eddie Utah to airport.

And, of course, this is a mere taste of the real debauchery that is sure to ensue. I'm sure you all can't wait.

Boys Will Be Boys (EXPLICIT)

2008-09-18T22:51:00.000-07:00

My favorite part from the excerpt on deadspin.com:

On the night following the team's arrival in Tempe, Switzer and a slew of assistant coaches and players attended a Super Bowl party beneath an enormous outdoor tent. Switzer and Larry Lacewell, the Cowboys' director of pro and college scouting (and the man whose wife Switzer once slept with), downed shots until both were stumbling around like kangaroos atop surfboards. Silver was minding his own business when he turned and spotted Switzer furiously kicking with his right foot. "What the fuck are you doing?" Silver asked. Upon stepping closer, Silver saw that Switzer was actually booting Lacewell, who was trying to urinate beneath a wood deck. "Barry was getting Larry to piss all over himself," says Silver. "Urine everywhere." Done harassing his friend, Switzer stumbled to the dance floor and began hyperactively shaking his body—a la Pee Wee Herman. Nearby Emmitt Smith was grooving the night away, showing off the moves that, a decade later, would make him a champion on Dancing With the Stars, when he caught a glimpse of Switzer. "Emmitt can't believe what he's seeing," says Silver. "He just stops and stares at Switzer, and his jaw drops. He just gets this look on his face that I can only describe as 'Oh my God, my coach is fucking crazy!'"

Week 3 NFL Picks, Notes and B.S., Cousin Sal

2008-09-18T10:03:00.000-07:00

Clearly I should not have changed my Eddie IN THE MONEY Superpicks since my preliminary picks went 3-0 and my final-final picks only 2-1, although 2-1 is still “in the money.” Before getting to the picks and the lines with Bill and Sal, let’s take a look at the current standings:

Week 2 Picks
Sports Gal: 9-5, Bill Simmons: 7-7, Eddie Utah: 6-8

Season Standings
Sports Gal: 16-14, Eddie Utah: 14-16, Bill Simmons: 13-17

Two games back. Time to step it up. And why is that Sports Gal so smart? My money’s on her beating Bill for the third straight year.

Line Predictions (Week 2 and Season Standings)
BS 10, CS 10, EU 2 Way behind here. Gonna need some big weeks. Let’s get going with Week 3:

Lines:

Cardinals at Redskins
Jim Zorn has worked his magic on Jason Campbell. Is the Cardinals defense better than the Saints defense? If this turns into a shootout, I don’t see Washington winning.
BS: Redskins -3.5 CS: Redskins -3 EU: Redskins -3.5 Actual: Redskins -3.5 Score: BS 1, CS 0, EU 1

Chiefs at Falcons
The Falcons were fairly competitive against the Bucs last week. Some guy I’ve never heard of is starting for the Chiefs.
BS: Falcons -4 CS: Falcons - EU: Falcons -6 Actual: Falcons -4
Score: BS 2, CS 0, EU 1

If you didn't attend Coastal Carolina University, you probably haven't heard of this guy either, especially since the school's football program started only 5 years ago. But he's starting for the Chiefs this Sunday. Will he have as much fun with the Falcons defense as his seems to be having with the skeleton?

Bengals at Giants
In spite of retirement and injuries on the defensive line, these guys are still getting to the quarterback. Still waiting for Houshmandzadeh to score me some fantasy points.
BS: Giants -12.5 CS: Giants -10.5 EU: Giants -8.5 Actual: Giants -13.5
Score: BS 3, CS 0, EU 1

Dolphins at Patriots
BS: Patriots -14.5 CS: Patriots -13.5 EU: Patriots -9.5 Actual: Patriots -13
Score: BS 3, CS 1, EU 1

Texans at Titans
A vote of confidence from coach Jeff Fisher will help Kerry Collins have a big game.
BS: Titans -7.5 CS: Titans -6.5 EU: Titans -8.5 Actual: Titans -5
Score: BS 3, CS 2, EU 1

Panthers at Vikings
My apologies to Tavaris Jackson. After watching the full Vikings-Colts game, he was actually much more accurate than I would have expected. The only times he wasn’t accurate were when the Vikings were in the red zone and in the fourth quarter with the game on the line. I love those qualities in a quarterback. Apparently Brad Childress does too, as Gus Frerotte has been named the starter. BS: Vikings -2.5 CS: Vikings -5 EU: Panthers -2 Actual: Vikings -3.5
Score: BS 4, CS 2, EU 1

Raiders at Bills
BS: Bills -8.5 CS: Bills -8.5 EU: Bills -6 Actual: Bills -9.5
Score: BS 5, CS 3, EU 1

Bucs at Bears
BS: Bears -3 CS: Bears -4 EU: Bears -4.5 Actual: Bears -3
Score: BS 6, CS 3, EU 1

Saints at Broncos
BS: Broncos -4.5 CS: Broncos -5 EU: Broncos -5.5 Actual: Broncos -4
Score: BS 7, CS 3, EU 1

Lions at 49ers
In spite of Jon Kitna’s nearly 30,000 passing yards, Mike Holmgren made the right decision in getting rid of him. He knew, as was demonstrated on Sunday, that Kitna can be counted on to throw one or two costly interceptions every game. I think Kitna’s a great guy—he just throws too many picks.
BS: 49ers -3 CS: 49ers -3.5 EU: 49ers -6 Actual: 49ers -3.5
Score: BS 7, CS 4, EU 1

Rams at Seahawks
Koren Robinson has reversed his jersey number from 81 to 18. Will that help reverse the direction of the Seahawks’ season?

BS: 'hawks -10.5 CS: 'hawks -10.5 EU: 'hawks -8.5 Actual: Seahawks -10

Score: BS 8, CS 5, EU 1

Steelers at Eagles
BS: Eagles -3.5 CS: Eagles -3 EU: Eagles -3.5 Actual: Eagles -3
Score: BS 8, CS 6, EU 1

Browns at Ravens
Romeo, as TMQ has pointed out, you really need to stop coaching like such a sissy.
BS: Ravens -4 CS: Ravens -3 EU: Ravens -4.5 Actual: Ravens -2.5
Score: BS 8, CS 7, EU 1

Jaguars at Colts
These two powerhouses of seasons past are suddenly looking mediocre.
BS: Colts -6 CS: Colts -7 EU: Colts -3.5 Actual: Colts -6
Score: BS 9, CS 7, EU 1

Sunday Night Football

Cowboys at Packers
Romo v. Rodgers, part I. This one could be as high scoring as Monday’s Cowboys-Eagles game.
BS: Packers -2.5 CS: EU: Cowboys -3 Actual: Cowboys -3
Score: BS 9, CS 7, EU 2

Monday Night Football

Jets at Chargers
Mo $ and I will be in San Diego for this one. The line may change at the last minute, depending what kind of shenanigans we get into before the game. By the way, why the hell has no one mentioned the laws of physics with respect to Philip Rivers' fourth quarter fumble in last week's Bronco's game? I understand that Ed Hochuli was standing behind Rivers, but he should have been able to figure out...if no one touches Rivers, and the ball goes 3 feet backwards as he attempts to throw, it is physically impossible for that to be considered a forward pass. I'm a little surprised that not even TMQ made mention of that. See below for my email to TMQ.
BS: Chargers -6.5 CS: Chargers -7 EU: Chargers -7.5 Actual: Chargers -9

Final Score: BS 9, CS 7, EU 3

I sorta get the feeling that these guys have been doing this for a while…but hey, I improved from last week.

Picks:

REDSKINS -3.5, FALCONS -4, GIANTS -13.5, PATRIOTS -13, TITANS -5, Panthers +3.5, BILLS -9.5, BEARS -3, BRONCOS -4 (and take the over, no matter what it is), Lions +3.5, Rams +10, EAGLES -3, RAVENS -2.5, Jaguars +6, PACKERS +3, CHARGERS -9

Eddie IN THE MONEY Superpicks:

FALCONS -4 over Chiefs
TITANS -5 over Texans
EAGLES -3 over Steelers

Email to TMQ

Dear TMQ:
I am a little surprised that I didn't hear this from you: Why hasn't anyone considered the laws of physics with respect to Philip Rivers' fourth quarter fumble? His attempted forward pass landed four feet behind him. How is it physically possible for that to be considered a forward pass?

You're still the man.
Best regards,

Eddie Utah (EddieUtah.blogspot.com)

K-Rob Comes Full Circle

2008-09-17T01:11:00.000-07:00

The Seahawks’ latest wide-receiver signing is a former first round draft pick…of the Seahawks. Koren Robinson, who was cut by the Seahawks four years ago after repeated bouts with alcoholism has now been sober for over two years and Tim Ruskell is giving him a second shot based on thorough research that included testimony from Mike Holmgren and Matt Hasselbeck. The Seahawks believe Robinson when he says that his family (a wife, 2 boys and a girl on the way) and devotion to God have helped him grow up and turn his life around.

Most of my memories of Koren’s time with the Seahawks involve me screaming at the television and wishing that I could show him how to properly catch a ball with his hands. The 2004 season when he and Darrell Jackson had that contest to see who could drop the most balls had to include some of the most infuriating moments for a Seahawks fan. I think Koren understands:

"I want to apologize to my fans up here in Seattle, and apologize to Coach Holmgren and my teammates…I was selfish…I wasn’t looking at me being a role model. I wasn’t looking at the great opportunity I had. I wasn’t thinking about the people who would give an arm and a leg to be in my shoes. I wasn’t looking at that. I feel like I’ve righted my wrongs. I’ve prayed for this, and I’m happy I have another opportunity to come up here and play ball."

Well, he didn’t mention anything about the dropped balls, but I’m going to go ahead and assume that he was apologizing for those too. And Koren, because these are such desperate times for the Seahawks, I accept your apology.

Yesterday I talked about how the Seahawks could really use a top-notch Pro Bowl receiver. Could Koren be that guy? He has been named to one Pro Bowl, albeit as a kick-returner. Perhaps this new opportunity will allow him to more fully realize his potential. And I'd definitely love to see that. But even if he doesn’t catch a single pass, it’s still a great story--a recovering alcoholic has overcome his addictions by turning to God and turning to family. He should be celebrated--whether he's scoring touchdowns or not.

Anyone Seen a Pro Bowl Wide-Receiver Lately?

2008-09-15T22:16:00.000-07:00

Quick! Name the last Seahawk wide-receiver to make the Pro Bowl. Deion Branch was a Super Bowl MVP…before he joined the Seahawks. Darrell Jackson was leading the NFL in touchdown catches a few years back…before he got hurt (again) and missed the last three games of the season. Still thinking? What about Joey Galloway? The Seahawks traded him away for two first round picks (Shaun Alexander and Koren Robinson) after Mike Holmgren’s first year coaching the Seahawks. However, in spite of his celebrity and publicized holdout, Galloway never made a Pro Bowl. Then of course there’s Mr. Seahawk, Steve Largent, who made the Pro Bowl seven times, the last time being after the 1987 season. Two years later, in Largent’s last season, he helped the only other Seahawk wide receiver to ever make the Pro Bowl. If you haven’t thought of him yet, it’s somewhat understandable, given the mediocre Seahawk era in which he played. The answer is Brian Blades, who was also named All-Pro in 1989. And though he had a solid 11-year career, he never again made the Pro Bowl.

It has been nearly twenty years since the Seahawks landed a wide-receiver in the Pro Bowl. Lately, the Seahawks have only been landing their wide-receivers on the IR. It was bad enough in Week 1. Missing (#1) Deion Branch, (#2) Bobby Engram and (#4) Ben Obomanu, you could see the frustration growing on Matt Hasselbeck’s face with each pass dropped by Courtney Taylor and Logan Payne. In my mind, he finally said, “Screw it. I’m throwing to Nate Burleson every time.” Matt might as well have stomped on Nate’s knee. A few plays later, Burleson (#3) goes down with a torn ACL. Welcome to the IR.

In Week 2, after the Seahawks cut Jordan Kent, they came at the 49ers with wide-receivers Logan Payne and Courtney Taylor, plus Seneca Wallace, the backup QB, Michael Bumpus from the practice squad and Billy McMullen straight from the street. Obomanu and Burleson must have been begging for some company in the training room because on only the second Seahawks drive of the game, and first play of that drive, Logan Payne (6) made a great jumping catch, but gets hit in the knee as he comes down. Torn MCL. Right this way to the IR. Oh, and don’t forget that Seneca Wallace (7) is gone for at least a month after hurting his calf in pre-game warmups. Are you kidding me?! Out of the Seahawks’ top seven wide-receivers, only one is healthy.

After watching the 49ers game on Sunday, you get the feeling that the Seahawks don’t have “it” this year. What is “it?” You can define “it” in a lot of different ways, but right now, for the Seahawks a Pro Bowl wide-receiver could definitely make the difference for the Seahawks and give them what (it) they need. The Giants have Plaxico Burress; the Patriots have Randy Moss; the Cowboys have Terrell Owens. Elite teams seem to have a top-notch, Pro Bowl wide-receiver. If the Seahawks want to be one of the elite teams and get back to the Super Bowl (without 28 TDs from their RB), they’re going to need to find another Pro Bowl wide-receiver.

Week 2 NFL Journal

2008-09-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

I thought it'd be fun to track my thoughts while flipping back and forth between all the early games this past Sunday:

12:15 p.m.: Walking home from church, noticed that Green Bay, one of my Eddie Utah IN THE MONEY Superpicks is up 21-0.

12:40 p.m.: So stoked. Had early church this morning and now looking forward to sitting on the couch and watching football for the next 8-10 hours.

12:42 p.m.: Notice the dancing robot “doin’ the bull dance, feelin' the flow. Workin' it, workin' it.” Mr. robot followed that up with the worm. Why? Why? Why?

12:45 p.m.: The Peyton Manning sourpuss face has appeared.

1:01 p.m.: I’m thinking now would be a good time to trade for Peyton Manning or Reggie Wayne.

1:02 p.m.: Just saw a score by Reggie Wayne. Curses!

1:04 p.m.: Three spontaneous laterals within 5 minutes?! This is what happens when you don’t let NFL players celebrate touchdowns.

1:20 p.m.: Vikings fan uses arrow to push Vinatieri field goal wide right.

1:22 p.m.: Dan Dierdorf points out that the fans don’t show Tavaris Jackson a lot of love when he misses an open receiver. Dan, if he didn’t do it about 10 times per game, maybe the fans would let up a little. That guy is not accurate. I don’t think his career as a starting quarterback will last any longer than three years.

1:29 p.m.: Chiefs Superpick is not looking good. Washington still alive. Detroit is worrying me.

1:37 p.m.: Not happy with Green Bay’s punter. Right through the wickets. Uggh.

1:51 p.m.: Really worried in Detroit. Tie game, pending extra point. I see a Green Bay two-point win.

1:57 p.m.: A dropped pass just cost me the Packers Superpick. Packers up two.

1:58 p.m.: Nevermind. Thank you Jon Kitna! Touchdown Packers, up 9. With 3:31 left in the game, let’s see if Rod Marinelli is smart enough to go for a field goal first, since they need two scores.

2:07 p.m.: Jon Kitna throws a pick-6!! I love that guy!!

2:09 p.m.: Jim Zorn is hugging people. Washington Superpick is in the books.

2:15 p.m.: The Forty-Niners can’t handle downing a punt on the one-yard-line. Doh! In spite of the Seahawks decimated receiving core, I like their chances.

2:18 p.m.: First play of the Seahawks second drive and they lose wide receiver number 5. Doesn’t look good. Are you kidding me?!

2:23 p.m.: Big play Babs picks up a blocked punt and runs it for a first down. Love that guy. He is so heads up.

2:37 p.m.: Guitarist Craig Terrell ends up with a fumble that bounced around and touched at least 5 Seahawks and scores a touchdown. His celebration? Air guitar, of course.

2:49 p.m.: J.T. O’Sullivan is getting a hole in the seat of his pants sewed up.

2:54 p.m.: Just learned that Seneca Wallace was hurt in warmups. What did we ever do to deserve this?

Week 2 NFL Picks

2008-09-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

I’ve been spending way too much time reviewing tax returns this week, especially in the last two days. Time that would obviously be better spent analyzing and discussing this week’s NFL games. Since that didn’t happen, here are my picks for this week (home teams in caps): CHIEFS -3.5, Titans +1, Colts -1.5, REDSKINS +1, Packers -3, PANTHERS -3, Giants -8.5, JAGUARS -4.5, Falcons +7, SEAHAWKS -6.5, Dolphins +6.5, JETS (pick ‘em), Chargers +1, BROWNS +6.5, COWBOYS -7.

Eddie IN THE MONEY Superpicks: Packers -3, REDSKINS +1 and CHIEFS -3.5. (I updated my mid-week picks based on way too much 1120, which is 10 times worse than 420.)

Last week: 8-8, Superpicks: N/A.

Season Standings
Eddie Utah: 8-8
Sports Gal: 7-9
Bill Simmons: 6-10

B.S., Cousin Sal

2008-09-10T21:59:00.000-07:00

Let’s get right to it. Big-timers Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal both guess the point spreads for each NFL game each week. I’ve done the same. Let’s see if I can hang.

Patriots at Jets
Brady-less Patriots are still a better team, in spite of the Jets improvement.
BS: Patriots -3.5
CS: Patriots -2
EU: Jets -1.5
Actual: Jets -2.5
Score: BS 0, CS 0, EU 1

Raiders at Chiefs
Who caressssss.
BS: Chiefs -3.5
CS: Chiefs -3.5
EU: Chiefs -3
Actual: Chiefs -4
Score: BS 1, CS 1, EU 1

Bears at Panthers
Both looked to be in 2005 form last week. At least the Bears don’t have to worry about Steve Smith this week.
BS: Panthers -4
CS: Panthers -5
EU: Panthers -3.5
Actual: Panthers -3
Score: BS 2, CS 1, EU 2

Giants at Rams
Giants get an early bye week.
BS: Giants -8
CS: Giants -8
EU: Giants -6.5
Actual: Giants -9
Score: BS 3, CS 2, EU 2

Saints at Redskins
In spite of being beat soundly by the Giants, I think the Redskins will be competitive in most games. Jason Campbell will only get better the more time he spends with Jim Zorn.
BS: Saints -1
CS: Saints -2
EU: Saints -2
Actual: Redskins -1
Score: BS 4, CS 2, EU 2

Packers at Lions
Aaron Rodgers definitely surprised me, as did the Lions and their ineptitude versus the Falcons.
BS: Packers -6
CS: Packers -3.5
EU: Packers -6
Actual: Packers -3
Score: BS 4, CS 3, EU 2

Bills at Jaguars
The Bills look solid and the Jaguars have injury problems on the o-line. Pick ‘em.
BS: Jaguars -3.5
CS: Jaguars -5.5
EU: Pick ‘em
Actual: Jaguars -6
Score: BS 4, CS 4, EU 2

Colts at Vikings
Peyton Manning won’t stay rusty for long; and Tavaris Jackson will never be Peyton Manning.
BS: Colts -3
CS: Vikings -1
EU: Colts -4
Actual: Colts -2.5
Score: BS 5, CS 4, EU 2

Titans at Bengals
The Titans will sack Carson Palmer cinco to ocho times.
BS: Titans -3.5
CS: Bengals -3
EU: Titans -3
Actual: Bengals -1
Score: BS 5, CS 5, EU 2

Forty-Niners at Seahawks
With Seneca Wallace playing wide receiver, two quarterbacks are better than one.
BS: Seahawks -4
CS: Seahawks -7.5
EU: Seahawks -2
Actual: Seahawks -8.5
Score: BS 5, CS 6, EU 2

Falcons at Buccaneers
Are the Falcons that good or the Lions that bad?
BS: Buccaneers -7
CS: Buccaneers -7
EU: Buccaneers -4
Actual: Buccaneers -9
Score: BS 6, CS 7, EU 2

Chargers at Broncos
Vegas worries about another slow start for the Chargers.
BS: Pick ‘em
CS: Broncos -3
EU: Broncos -4.5
Actual: Chargers -2
Score: BS 7, CS 7, EU 2

Ravens at Texans
Still need to watch the Ravens week 1 game.
BS: Texans -1
CS: Texans -3
EU: Ravens -1
Actual: Texans -4.5
Score: BS 7, CS 8, EU 2

Dolphins at Cardinals
The Dolphins look improved.
BS: Cardinals -6
CS: Cardinals -6
EU: Cardinals -4.5
Actual: Cardinals -7
Score: BS 8, CS 9, EU 2

Sunday Night Football

Steelers at Browns
A let-down alert for the Steelers and a bounce-back focus for the Browns are in effect for this game. Vegas doesn’t care.
BS: Steelers -3.5
CS: Steelers -3.5
EU: Steelers -3
Actual: Steelers -6
Score: BS 9, CS 10, EU 2

Monday Night Football

Eagles at Cowboys
Eagles come off their extra bye week and run into a tough Dallas team.
BS: Cowboys -6
CS: Cowboys -5
EU: Cowboys -5
Actual: Cowboys -7
Score: BS 10, CS 10, EU 2

Apparently the rookie cannot hang with the big-timers just yet. Wow, they dominated me. At least I wasn’t shut out. Let’s see how I do next week when I have a chance to watch all of the games. And based on my predictions and the Vegas actual, here are a couple of my Eddie IN THE MONEY picks:

Packers (-3) over LIONS
Bills (+6) over JAGUARS
Titans (+1) over BENGALS

Eddie and the Money, Week 2

2008-09-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

Tonight I planned on creating a podcast so that I could beat Bill Simmons at one of the other games he plays (badly), which is to guess the lines of each NFL game this week and try to do better than “Cousin Sal.” Unfortunately, it turns out that making a podcast isn’t as simple as I hoped it would be. So until I have more time on my hands (3 more days of full-time tax consulting!), I’ll do it the old fashioned way. My group of friends doesn’t have a “Cousin Sal” but we do have Mo$ and Cousin Louie. Unfortunately, neither was up to the task tonight. They need a lesson on priorities. So first, some comments on week 1 and then my line predictions for week 2.

I Was Wrong

I underestimated the Bengals’ intelligence. They are fully aware of how bad they are.
My hatred of the Steelers clouded my judgment in picking Houston to cover. Pittsburg looked good. Houston did not. But on a positive note, Andre Johnson still caught 10 balls for 112 yards.
Tennessee is better than I realized.
The Lions made that rookie look good.
Matt Hasselbeck can’t throw to himself.
The gap between the Cowboys and Browns is significant.
Why did I talk myself into changing my Packers-Vikings pick?

I Was Right

The Jets covered, but let’s see them against a real team.
Based on my trade of Tom Brady for Joseph Addai last week, you’d think I had a crystal ball.
The Saints and Reggie Bush are ready for a rebound.
Ditto for Jake Delhomme and the Panthers.
The Rams still don’t care.
I’m just happy the Cardinals and Forty-Niners are in the Seahawks’ division.
Al Davis is on death’s door…and Mike Shanahan still hates him. And that Eddie Royal looks like this year’s Marques Colston.

Thank you Captain Obvious
"He was in a lot of pain. When you hear a scream, you know that," Kansas City safety Bernard Pollard said of the hit that landed Tom Brady on Injured Reserve.

And now, on to the week 2 games and my prediction for the Vegas lines:

1 p.m. EDT Games

Saints at Redskins
In spite of being beat soundly by the Giants, I think the Redskins will be competitive in most games. Jason Campbell will only get better the more time he spends with Jim Zorn. Saints -2.

Bills at Jaguars
The Bills look solid and the Jaguars have injury problems on the o-line. Pick ‘em.

Colts at Vikings
Peyton Manning won’t stay rusty for long; and Tavaris Jackson will never be Peyton Manning. Colts -4.

Packers at Lions
Aaron Rodgers definitely surprised me, as did the Lions and their ineptitude versus the Falcons. Packers -6.

Titans at Bengals
The Titans will sack Carson Palmer cinco to ocho times. Titans -3.

Raiders at Chiefs
Who caressssss. Chiefs -3.

Bears at Panthers
Both looked to be in 2005 form last week. At least the Bears don’t have to worry about Steve Smith this week. Panthers -3.5.

Giants at Rams
Giants get an early bye week. Giants -6.5

4 p.m. EDT Games

Forty-Niners at Seahawks
With Seneca Wallace playing wide receiver, two quarterbacks are better than one. Seahawks -2.

Chargers at Broncos
Vegas worries about another slow start for the Chargers. Broncos -4.5

Ravens at Texans
Still need to watch the Ravens week 1 game. Ravens -1.

Falcons at Buccaneers
Are the Falcons that good or the Lions that bad? Buccaneers -4.

Patriots at Jets
Brady-less Patriots are still a better team, in spite of the Jets improvement. Jets -1.5.

Dolphins at Cardinals
The Dolphins look improved. Cardinals -4.5

Sunday Night Football

Steelers at Browns
A let-down alert for the Steelers and a bounce-back focus for the Browns are in effect for this game. Vegas doesn’t care. Steelers -3.

Monday Night Football

Eagles at Cowboys
Eagles come off their extra bye week and run into a tough Dallas team. Cowboys -5.

Week 1 NFL Picks

2008-09-07T00:09:00.000-07:00

Bengals (-2) over RAVENS
The Bengals cannot possibly finish above .500 with Ocho Cinco still creating drama and an undermining owner bringing back Chris Henry. That’s enough bad karma right there to doom their season. But in week one, Cincinnati forgets about all their issues and wins on the strength of superior quarterback play (Palmer versus the rookie Flacco).

Jets (-3) over DOLPHINS
The Dolphins have a new coach, a new quarterback and a 31-year-old starting running back (who I nevertheless hope has a big season). The Jets improved their O-line (Alan Faneca), their D-Line (Kris Jenkins) and you might have heard they also have a new quarterback. As much as Chad Pennington would love to beat his old team, it’s not gonna happen. Favre’s magic carries the Jets through at least week 1.

Chiefs (+15.5) over PATRIOTS
In 2004, Peyton Manning set an NFL record with 49 touchdown passes, yet the Colts failed to win the Superbowl. In 2006, they figured out how to run the ball and won the big game. Last year, Tom Brady broke Manning’s TD record and the Patriots routinely beat double-digit spreads. This year, Tom Brady hasn’t yet played and the Pats didn’t even win a pre-season game. Plus, I don’t see the Spy-gate anger carrying over through the off-season. So New England will chill out after remembering that regular season wins don’t really matter. They’ll still win a lot of games, but won’t be running away with them and going for it on fourth down with 20-point leads.

Texans (+7) over STEELERS
Young Shanahan and a Denver run-blocking scheme, plus improved QB play will help Houston improve on last year’s 8-8 record. Whether or not they win tomorrow, they will keep it close.

Jaguars (-3) over TITANS
I’m surprised this line is so low. I love the way David Garrard takes care of the ball (18 TDs and only 3 INTs last year) and their defense is solid. Add the bitter memory of losing to Tennessee in last year’s opener and I see a big win tomorrow.

Lions (-3) over FALCONS
Three point favorites against a rookie QB?!! Tooo eeeeasy… Not to mention a new head coach and a career backup starting at RB. Plus, who’s going to cover Roy Williams and Calvin Johnson with DeAngelo Hall in Oakland? One win down, 9 to go for Jon Kitna and the Lions.

Seahawks (+1) over BILLS
Seattle traditionally starts off slow. Don’t’ expect big numbers from Matt Hassel beck and the offense until at least week 4. But do expect solid, if conservative, coaching. If they could, the Seahawks would win by ½ a point. They won’t win big, but they’ll win.

SAINTS (-3) over Buccaneers
New Orleans gets back to their 2006 form by beating the 2007 NFC South Champs. In a pretty evenly matched game, home0field in the Superdome is enough for an ATS win or at least a push.

EAGLES (-8.5) over Rams
Superior line-play by the Eagles keys a blow-out. Steven Jackson gets comfortable with a new contract and struggles with an o-line that, because of so many injuries last year, barely knows each other.

BROWNS (+6) over Cowboys
Cleveland keeps it close at home.

Panthers (+9) over CHARGERS
Nine points is too much for Jake Delhomme, Tommy John and a bounce-back Carolina team. Even without Steve Smith, the Panthers will keep it close.

Cardinals (-2.5) over FORTY-NINERS
J.T. O’Sullivan wishes he had Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald to throw to.

Vikings (+2.5) over PACKERS
Adrian Peterson beats a defense with a hurting A.J. Hawk and Jared Allen helps the Minnesota defense keep Aaron Rogers in check in his first start.

Broncos (-3) over RAIDERS
I refuse to ever bet against Mike Shanahan when he’s facing Al Davis. I’m pretty sure Mike will still hate Al even after he dies.

Note: I will escape from the evil grasp of full-time tax-consulting in a little over a week. I am very much looking forward to having the extra time to focus on football.

Blame the Kicker!

2008-09-07T00:06:00.001-07:00

After BYU blocked a 35-yard PAT to seal a 28-27 win over the University of Washington, the only thing I heard commentators talking about was the appropriateness of an unsportsmanlike penalty on Jake Locker. I’m guessing if it was your team and your QB, you would think the penalty was bogus. If your team benefitted, then rules are rules. But why did no one choose to focus on (1) the inability of the Washington field goal unit to kick a straight-on 35-yarder, or (2) the clutch block of the PAT by BYU? Think about it this way: If your team only has to kick a 35-yard field goal to take the game into overtime, and the kick is from right in the middle of the field—not from either hash, then your field goal team better damn-well make that kick, right? And if they don’t, are you blaming anyone but the field goal team and the kicker? I say no. The way BYU pushed back the UW line on the PAT, I don’t think the PAT result would have been any different if it was a traditional 20-yarder. So give it a rest on the celebration, the ref and the call. Blame the kick, credit the block.

Reconsider Strategy: Accurate High School Quarterbacks in Short Supply

2008-09-06T23:38:00.000-07:00

One play by Danny Tuai was enough to make the difference for East High on Friday night. After struggling for most of the game and even leaving the game at one point (unclear whether he was benched or injured), Danny was finally able to hit a receiver in stride in what was, in reality, a last gasp heave with under two minutes left in the game and trailing 10-7. While the American Fork Cavemen did him a huge favor by failing to cover Matt Price on the play, Tuai nonetheless deserves the credit for doing what he was unable to do for most of the night—deliver an accurate pass.

The victorious outcome should not, however, encourage the East High coaches to keep calling so many pass plays. After both East and American Fork started the first quarter with successful, run-dominated drives which led to a 7-7 tie, both teams seemed to treat the rest of the first half as a passing experiment. (Pssst: There’s a game going on—see if maybe you can win it…) In spite of some great catches by Senior Captain John Webb, the East High passing game failed to produce anything but punts and interceptions in the first half. After a Caveman interception by Mitch Harrison, a Tuai pass to an offensive lineman, and a dropped interception by #8 of American Fork, which would have been an easy touchdown, I was seriously asking: Where’s the run game?

Not that the Cavemen passing was much better. (Plus, is there a more appropriate nick-name for a run-oriented team? I say no.) American Fork’s only touchdown did come on a pass to Spencer Maglebee, but it was also the result of a blown coverage that left #46 wide open after East failed to get to the Caveman quarterback on an all-out blitz.

As if I myself were in the locker-room at half-time, both teams brilliantly came out pounding the ball. Six run plays in a row led to a Cavemen field-goal. East answered with a 15-play drive that included 12 runs. On one pass, Tuai completed a simple slant. On another, he missed a wide-open Ryan Shipp. Even though the drive resulted in no points, I felt changing strategy to a variety of runs and simple pass plays gave the Leopards a good chance of winning the game.

The next Cavemen drive ended after a 2nd-and-8 pass attempt resulted in a sack and a 12-yard loss. After the last successful, run-dominated drive, why pass? Two running plays had a much better chance of picking up the first down. East answered right back by throwing an interception, this one by Tuai’s short-lived replacement.

With the ball on the East High 18-yard-line and a 3-point lead, American Fork seemed to have the game wrapped up with 6:40 to play in the fourth quarter. Common sense clearly pointed towards three run plays to run down the clock, if not score a touchdown or field goal. But what do the Cavemen do? They abandon the run after losing 3 yards on the first play. A third-down complete pass brought them to the 16-yard-line, but instead of attempting a field-goal, the Cavemen call a fake, which (surprise, surprise) doesn’t work.
This set the stage for Danny Tuai’s heroics. Before the game-clinching pass, East’s 10-play drive actually included 3 called runs, 2 QB scrambles and one high-percentage out-route. The clock was ticking and East had barely crossed mid-field when they called a time-out with 1:42 left in the game. Two plays later, Matt Price was inexplicably left wide-open and Danny Tuai amazingly put the ball in his hands. “The encounter was a victory, but I think I’ve shown it as an example of what not to do.”

First Annual First Half Predictions

2008-09-04T13:43:00.000-07:00

Rather than making a feeble attempt to accurately predict the Super Bowl winner, I’ve decided that it makes a lot more sense to predict the first half of the season and then make second half predictions. I plan to discuss my thoughts in more detail, but wanted to at least post my win-loss projections before the season officially gets underway tonight. I also like the Giants -4.5 against the Redskins—I’m definitely beating Bill Simmons and his wife this year.

AFC East
New England 6-2
New York Jets 4-4
Buffalo 3-5
Miami 2-6

AFC North
Cleveland 6-2
Pittsburgh 5-3
Cincinnati 2-6
Baltimore 2-7

AFC South
Jaksonville 6-2
Indianapolis 6-2
Houston 6-2
Tennessee 3-5

AFC West
San Diego 6-2
Kansas City 6-2
Denver 5-3
Oakland 3-5

NFC East
Dallas 7-2
New York Giants 6-2
Philadelphia 6-2
Washington 3-6

NFC North
Chicago 4-4
Detroit 3-5
Green Bay 3-5
Minnesota 2-6

NFC South
New Orleans 7-1
Carolina 4-4
Tampa Bay 3-6
Atlanta 1-7

NFC West
Seattle 7-1
Arizona 4-4
St. Louis 1-7
San Francisco 0-8

Kobe’s Clutch Play Clinches Redemption

2008-08-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

With 8:13 left in the Gold Medal Game, Rudy Fernandez had just lobbed a perfect alley-oop to Pau Gasol and then hit a 3-pointer to bring Spain within 2 points of the United States. After repeated blowouts, including a 37-point drubbing of this very Spain team, the outcome of the game was uncertain for the first time in this Olympics. How would the U.S. respond? A three-time NBA champion gave an emphatic answer. Like Michael Jordan 24 years ago (coincidentally also against Spain in the 1984 Gold Medal Game), Kobe Bryant stepped up and delivered when it mattered most. For three years, Jerry Colangelo and Mike Krzyzewski had been preaching the importance of playing as a team. But even the best and most balanced of teams need a leader. With basketball redemption in the balance, the U.S. needed a leader now more than ever.

After a time-out, a careful look at Kobe’s demeanor told you all you needed to know. His eyes glowed with determination and confidence. He licked his lips and smiled with eagerness. Under such pressure, lesser players may wither and choke; clutch performers like Kobe are actually buoyed up. They don’t just believe, they know they are about to lead their team to victory.

After the timeout, Kobe “let Mamba loose” as he was involved in 14 of the next 17 points for team USA. A tough leaning jumper in the lane. A drive and kick-out to Deron Williams for a wide-open three. A hand-off down low to Dwight Howard for a power slam. And after a Lebron James layup, a three-pointer of his own. The U.S. was up 11, but Spain kept fighting back. Fernandez had an impressive dunk on Dwight Howard after Kobe gambled and went for a steal. Then after 2 free-throws and a jumper by Pau Gasol, Spain was back within five. Next time down the court, Kobe is calling for the ball once again. He gets it on the left wing with Fernandez right in his face. He fakes right and then hits a three as Fernandez fouls him, his fifth. As Rudy walked to the bench, Kobe put his finger in front of his lips to let the Spanish fans know they could stop cheering now. Hush. Completing the four-point play gave the U.S. a 9-point lead. Kobe said, “it meant so much; felt so good, felt so good.” Five straight Spain points dropped the U.S. lead back to four. Another NBA champion, Dwyane Wade, answered with another clutch three. Then after a Spain free-throw, Kobe hit a runner in the lane to push the lead back to eight with 1:11 left in the game. The uncertainty had passed as Spain was forced to foul. The U.S. had claimed redemption by winning what coach Krzyzewski called “one of the great games in international basketball history.” And in the climactic fourth-quarter, no player was greater than Kobe Bryant.

Jazz Conversion?

2008-08-05T23:34:00.000-07:00

To the Fans of the Utah Jazz:

I live in Salt Lake City, but I am not a Jazz fan. I love watching basketball, but I am currently considering a complete boycott of the NBA. In March of 2007, just like in every March, I run to the oasis of big TVs and legal sports betting to celebrate the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament.

But this trip wasn’t just about college basketball. I was working for the Sonics on this trip. I have always been a Seattle sports fan, but my relationship with the Sonics has been more convenience-based, as compared to the passionate love affair I share with the Seahawks. To the Sonics, I was a fair-weather fan and I used them. If they weren’t winning, I wasn’t watching. Yeah, I payed attention when Dale Ellis was setting 3-point records and yeah, I cheered on Payton and Kemp and agonized over the lost opportunity of 1993-1994. But this trip was the end of that. This trip was where it would all change.

And it did. It started with the reverse-jinx brought on by my wearing of a white University of Texas “Hook ‘em Horns” hat. Not only was I supporting super freshman Kevin Durant during the Longhorns’ NCAA run, but I was also sending good vibes to those little ping-pong balls that theoretically couldn’t be pre-bent for the knowing hand of Commissioner Scumbag (see 1985 NBA draft lottery). When the Sonics ended up with the #2 pick in the draft, my NBA renaissance had officially started. Little did I know, however, that conspiracies to defraud had already begun. I may not have known how the tragedy started, but I am here to witness its cold-blooded finish.

Unless Howard Schultz’s full-court prayer of a lawsuit is somehow answered, I will find myself at another NBA cross-road. Will it be a true renaissance or a bitter exile? I am considering the following options:

(1) Boycott, as mentioned, the NBA completely, based on my disgust over the way Commissioner Stern made sure the road from Seattle to Oklahoma City was nicely paved for his good buddy Bennett.
(2) Follow my man-crush Kevin (and the rest of the Sonics) to OK City. Even though I despise the ownership, I’m excited for the young team and the moves made by the young GM.
(3) Switch my alliances to the “rival” Portland Trailblazers. I put rival in quotations, because it doesn’t really approach a true rivalry. Compare Yankees-Red Sox or BYU-Utah to Seattle-Portland. Even if people in Seattle and Portland cared, does anyone else? Also, based on my aforementioned love affair with the Seahawks, why can’t I share some of that love with the Seahawk owner’s basketball team? (Paul Allen owns both the Seahawks and the Blazers.)
(4) Finally, common sense tells me to just start rooting for the home team. They’re only a few blocks away after all and the team certainly has its virtues. But can they convert me?

Can the Jazz show this downtrodden basketball soul the way to true fandom? Or will despair fully drive me from the sport? Can the Jazz pull me from the misery of NBA orphanage? Or will I take up residence with my cousins in Portland? Can an adopted fan achieve the same status as a fan-since-birth? Or will I always have that place in my heart for Seattle basketball?

Join me as I present my unbiased views of the team’s arguments. Watch the drama unfold both on the court and off, as you root not only for the Jazz to win games but also to win the approval of this non-believer.